The Truth About Falling Off the Clean Eating Wagon

Here I am blogging again after a brief hiatus. I wish I could say that I have been a clean eating machine since my Whole 30 success. But the truth is I haven't....I know the SACRILEGE!! After all my great results and positive encouragement to others and here I am struggling to get back on track.

The truth is....its EASY. So easy to fall off the wagon. Its EASY eating food other people prepare. Its EASY to not have to make every morsel that goes in your mouth. Saying I will just have this one treat..." I earned it". Drive thrus are easy. Take out is easy. And its SO easy to undo all the hard work and clean eating you did in one month in a matter of a week or two. 

It started out slowly. I didn't go buck wild and drive from Starbucks to Taco Bell to Five Guys and get down and dirty. I had a 'cheat meal" one day and then happy hour a few days later. Then I started packing up my house to move and slowly all my cooking stuff was in boxes so it was EASIER to order take out....And then the downward spiral really took off. Take out, Starbucks for "energy" when I was tired, no sleep, not eating a good meal to start my day...etc etc etc. 

This was NOT me. But I can identify with the idea

So this is a short list of how things got going....

1. Thanksgiving (oh mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie)

2. We packed up our entire house. 

3. We moved.( I lived off Starbucks lattes for #2 and 3 and 4)

4. We unpacked an entire house. 

5. Christmas (why do people give so many cookies?)

Now I didn't eat terribly this whole time. But overall I certainly wasn't eating as cleanly as I could or know I actually want to. I would eat poorly for a day or so and then literally crave salads. I need to refine my ability to eat clean 80% of the time and indulge 20% of the time. Why do I (and a lot of women I think) do the following...."Well I missed breakfast because I was too busy trying to get out the door. So now I will have a Starbucks breakfast sandwich"...fast forward 3 hours "Well I already had that breakfast sandwich so now my clean eating for the day is totally shot" WHAT??? Why does my brain do this? Why don't I say "well you had that breakfast sandwich so you should get back on track and eat a SALAD." Ugh. I want to smack myself. 

And then the guilt of the bad eating becomes a cycle of feeling bad and eating some kind of comfort food to feel better. Its really ridiculous. And the only person I have to blame is me. Not the moving or the packing or the holidays. JUST ME.

Fortunately I have crossfit to keep me somewhat in check. Try going back to a work out after a week or so off due to moving and unpacking and all the while eating take out because all your food and cooking stuff is in transit or in boxes. That first WOD back was a misery. A sweaty, ugly, pathetic misery. I finished last by a large margin and I totally deserved it. Oh and people coming up to me and saying "oh YOU are the Whole 30 girl! I saw your post! You look great". :( oh the GUILT! And I do still look better than before I started but that damn tummy pudge is coming right back....

Here is me in that wod...looks like I'm doing well.
But notice NO ONE else is working out....
Yeah because I was the last one :( Oh reality.

So slowly but surely I am getting back on track. I have started cooking again at home. I will take the time to prep easy, clean snacks and meals. I have stopped going to Starbucks every day. (and even when I go I have figured out how to order a drink I like with significantly less sugar/syrup in it as well) 

Its New Years Resolutions time again...I don't make them. I stopped a few years ago because I didn't follow through and then I would feel bad which is totally counterproductive to the actual purpose of them. I now make GOALS. I type them up and check back every month or so to see how I'm doing. I hit several of my 2013 goals this year. And I succeeded on a few more things I didn't even have as goals (running 5 miles, toes to bar, Whole 30). So one of my goals this year is to continue to learn how to be healthy and have a healthy relationship with food. Its probably going to be a goal on my list every year.

Found this proverb...pretty fitting for this and all things. Might be this years mantra :)

The Before, The After and Surviving Whole 30

Wholy Crap! I did it. I completed Whole 30. I did not cheat. I did not succumb to temptation. I killed it. It was the longest 30 days of my life.

Ok maybe that is a slight exaggeration but I can tell you that 30 days is a lot longer than you think. I can also say that you can totally change your relationship with food in 30 days, no question. I did.

So I have taken pictures and measurements to show my progress from Day 1 to Day 30 and I will share those (AHHHH) at the end of this post.(And then I will shut myself in the closet because the idea of sharing pictures of me in a sports bra and spandex is terrifying...) But I have also learned a ton of things about me, food and my relationship with it. From big revelations to simple preferences, I learned a lot.
Such as....

1. I do not like ground chicken. Ground beef, ground turkey, ground pork all good. Ground chicken, no thanks.

2. I can in fact go through extremely stressful situations and not turn to food to make me feel better. During Whole 30, we basically sold our home with an extremely short settlement date and had/did not find a home we wanted to buy in that time. I literally feared we would be homeless at the end of 45 days. I wanted wine. I needed WINE. I also wanted chocolate and comfort foods to make me feel better. Instead I drank water and ate nuts. Yup. And I was fine. I actually slept better as a result. Go figure. (oh and we won't be homeless either ;)

3. Previous to Whole 30 I was an adamant HATER of lemons and limes. Basically all citrus fruit. Don't you dare put a lemon on the side of my ice water. No, I do not want lime on my mixed alcoholic beverage. I do not want a lemon vinaigrette or lime cilantro marinade. No thank you. No way. No how. And then all I could drink was water. Water is boring. Its refreshing. Its great for you. But it gets old. One day I was strangely compelled to cut lemon slices and put them in my water. I still don't know why. And then I drank it. And I liked it. What was happening to me? Who knows but now I drink water with lemon in it by choice. This has truly shocked people who know me well. Its such a small thing but a true indicator that my taste buds actually changed in 30 days.

I like this? Really? 

4. Sugar is in EVERYTHING. I know I have stated this in previous blog posts but I am still amazed by it. I challenge you to look at all the things in your pantry and refrigerator that you think DON'T have sugar in them. They probably do. And it may not just say "sugar" but if it says sugar, syrup, dextrose, sucrose, arbitrol,etc etc....its sugar. Check out this link to all the names of sugar in food...http://whole9life.com/book/ISWF-Sugar.pdf 

5. I started eating only because I was hungry. Not because I was bored or there was food available. Its less tempting to shove your face with food when the food is salad or nuts. Maybe thats just me but thats how I felt.

6. I made it through an entire Halloween and Halloween party without eating a single solitary piece of candy. And I didn't even buy the crappy candy no one wants. I bought Twix, Kit Kats and Snickers. (I will not be the house with the crappy candy). I did wait until the day of Halloween to buy it but I still didn't eat any or any of the candy my daughter brought home after trick or treating. It was easy. I just didn't eat it. Crazy, right? Yeah but it was that simple.

7. I really have a true love for Starbucks coffee drinks. I thought about them every day. It was the only thing that I could not kick the craving for. I will drink them again but have realized that I need to limit them and find ones that are low in sugar. I will start treating them as a TREAT not a daily requirement for living.

8. When I really REALLY wanted to cheat I just told myself I could do it. I could eat something else. I could make the right choice. I just believed that I was strong enough. And I was. It was amazing. I am truly proud of my perseverance  and dedication.

One of my favorite quotes with a whole new meaning. 

9. I am stronger than I think I am. Both mentally and physically. As a personal aside... I dropped TWO BANDS in assisted pull ups during Whole 30. I can now do red band pull ups!! This is a big deal for me :) Could be a combo of increased strength and weight lost but either way I am one step closer to unassisted pull ups which is a MAJOR goal of mine. And I also ran 4.8 miles at one time during Whole 30 as well. I have never ran farther than 3.1 miles and never wanted to. I was in a competition and one of the wods was a 4.8 mile run. I came in dead last. Didn't care! I ran the whole damn thing! I am still proud of that. 

10. Fueling yourself properly before and after workouts is really important. It was challenging on Whole 30 because there are no protein shakes. But it wasn't impossible. I became very aware of how the proteins and fats I needed to consume before working out and how dead I felt if I didn't. 

11. I can actually beat my own genetics with clean eating. I am a 35 year old female with hypothyroidism and challenging genetics. I am fighting nature, science and age. It is insanely easy for me to gain weight. And extremely hard for me to lose it. I use this concept as a crutch. Well in 30 days my body completely changed so it is totally possible to beat all of the above factors! 

Ok here they are...The pictures (of me in a sports bra and spandex shorts Ahhhhhhh) and the measurements. Please know that it has taken all of the courage in my being to put these pictures out there. I am still a work in progress but I felt I needed to share so you could see what can be accomplished in 30 days. Please be kind.

Measurements (# of inches lost)
Waist: 4 inches
Lower abdomen: 3 inches
Thigh: 2 inches
Bicep: 1.5 inches
Ribcage: 1.5 inches
TOTAL: 12 inches!! I lost a FOOT :)
Weight- If you are wondering how much weight I lost...I have no idea. I don't weigh myself on principle because it makes me crazy focussing on a number. My best guess based on my measurements and the way none of my clothes fit is that I lost 10 to 15 lbs.  

And there you have it. Me and my measurements. For everyone to see...this may have been a bad idea but its too late now. I decided to share this very personal information because I really think its important for people, especially women, to see what can be done in 30 days with diet and exercise. I ate real food. I cooked it all myself. I worked out 3-4 days a week. I drank a lot of water. Thats it. Thats all I did. I didn't do a crazy cabbage soup diet or take Hydroxy cut. I just ate SUPER healthy and exercised. I am just a 35 year old mom who made the decision to commit to this for 30 days. I think anyone can do this if they really want to.

So now what....

Well I have decided to keep eating like this as much as possible. I will be incorporating some non Whole 30 things back into my diet but I won't be going hog wild. I don't plan to belly up at an all-you-can-eat pasta buffet or stick my head under a Sweet Frog yogurt dispenser. I do plan to enjoy a nice meal out this weekend and have a drink or two at happy hour. But most days I will keep eating this clean because it works and honestly I feel really good. And at the end of the day thats what this was really about. 

C is for Community...

Gimme a C, Gimme a R, Gimme a OSSFIT! (Ok I was never a cheerleader) Whats that spell...CROSSFIT. But lets focus on the C shall we....

C is for Community.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think going to Crossfit over a year ago would impact my life so greatly. But not in reps or PRs or weight lost. For me the biggest impact is the community. The many awesome people I now call my friends.

I would say that I am perceived by others as outgoing, fun and personable. (Just go with it.... ;) I thrive in social settings and love to interact and meet new people. After having my daughter 3 years ago, I became a stay at home mom. I left the teaching profession after almost 10 years and settled in to mom life. And I was so lonely.

A lot of people don't talk about how sometimes isolating being a stay at home mom can be. And maybe its not for everyone but it was for me. Eventually I went back to work part time but I still had little interaction with many people and because we moved farther away not even with my friends.

I started at Titan Crossfit to battle my post baby body (that battle is more like a war that I am still waging a year later). I had no idea that anything would change in my life other than my pants size. I didn't know that the people who I at first envied for their ability to do pull ups or run when I could barely jog would become my friends. Good friends. Friends who constantly push me to achieve and try harder. Friends who keep the pessimist in me feeling positive. Friends who don't let me give up. Friends who constantly inspire, strengthen and support me.

I don't have a day that goes by where I don't talk to or text with many of my Titan friends. Yes mostly with things like "Whats the WOD??" or "I am so SORE" or "I hate running"....but also about our lives. These people have become like family to me. I look forward to going to Titan Crossfit not just to see if I can survive the WOD but to check in with my friends. To share stories, talk trash, high five and laugh.

Crossfit athletes are such a diverse group. Fire fighters, police officers, accountants, stay at home moms, college kids, trainers, nurses, musicians etc... And on paper I may have little in common with all of these people. And what started as just having Crossfit in common has grown into so much more. Happy hours, birthday celebrations, beach weekends, destination weddings, house warmings, laughs, smiles and friendships.

So when people ask me "how's that Crossfit thing going?" I smile. I answer and explain how much better I feel and how empowering being able to lift heavy weight as a female is. But to me "that Crossfit thing" is my more than that. Its family. A big, strong, awesome family :)

Here are just a few of those awesome people.... :) 

Pretty Sure Iced Vanilla Lattes are a Gateway Drug

Day 13 in the Whole 30 challenge and I can honestly say I feel pretty good and I have definitely adjusted to this way of eating. Except for one thing. And of all the things that I was expecting to miss this is the one I thought wouldn't be that big of a deal....

Grande Iced Vanilla Lattes from Starbucks. 

I wish I could drink the screen....

Just typing that out made me want to get in my car and drive directly to my nearest Starbucks and chug one down. Forget the straw I will just mainline it.

My question is WHY of all things is this the one that I just can't stop thinking about. I have a pantry full of snacks and treats and I easily bypass them several times daily. But I literally wake up thinking of these Lattes. 

I started really thinking about why this is and I have come to a few conclusions:

1. Starbucks puts crack in these. Thats not syrup. Its liquid crack. 

2. I have turned my latte habit into something that is a part of my daily routine. Surprisingly my little podunk town has a not only a Starbucks but one with a drive thru no less. I discovered this when my daughter was a baby and would fall asleep in the car and there was NO WAY I was waking her up. So I would drive around and get a coffee and play Angry Birds in my car. That was 3 years ago. And yet, here I am 3 years later and I still go to that drive thru several times a week. Its right by the grocery store! It has a drive thru! What could be easier? So accessible....

3. Coffee. That one is simple. I love it. I love it with a little creamer and a little sweetner (in my non Whole 30 life I prefer stevia for the record). I drink it habitually every morning and then whenever the opportunity for Starbucks arrives. I can literally subsist on these lattes and forego food. Truth. 

4. Sugar. Yup. I am not a "sweets" person. I prefer french fries or chips. Something salty. But I realized that is because I get all the sugar I need from those damn lattes. I looked it up. 28g in one 16 oz drink. Sad face. 

So there it is. I am addicted to Starbucks. Its fast. Its easy. You can find it on any corner. It makes me feel good. It costs way too much. I need it. I crave it....is there a Starbucks recovery support group? 

Holy Whole 30....

So I have in fact survived the first week of Whole 30. And thankfully so did all my friends and family. There were definitely a few "kill all the things" moments on days 2 through 4....  I sorry ;)

Ok so I did a quick S.O.T.T.(State of the Tiffany) review. Here is where I am with this whole process...

1) I am over the hump of low energy I believe. Early last week I thought I could and may possibly been able to fall asleep standing upright with my eyes open. Working out was a MISERY. And I had the privilege to attempt the "Filthy Fifty" as one of the WODS at Titan Crossfit last week. Lets just say this...It would have been ugly if I was at 100%. Therefore it was more like a soul sucking tragedy of athletic performance on my part.  At one point I just stared dead eyed at a grey wall while my brain screamed "Pick up the wall ball!!!" and my body was like "Girl you CRAY".

2)Sugar is in EVERYTHING. This is not an exaggeration. Its in all the obvious places you expect...anything sweet or processed. But I have found it in places I just don't understand. Taco seasoning? Sriacha? Worcestershire? Salsa? Italian salad dressing? Why people!! WHY!!! Tell me in what way sugar enhances taco seasoning. Sheesh. As a result I have made my own taco seasoning (link) as well as my own salad dressing (link) and my own mayo (link). I am become down right Martha Stewarty.

3) Eating on the go is a BITCH. Sorry but it is. There is no easy way to grab something to eat on Whole 30. Unless (and thank the Whole 30 heavens) you are near a Chipotle! You can have a salad with carnitas, any salsa and guacamole :) and its YUMMY. You can't have the other meats because they cook them in soy bean oil but the carnitas are delish. Other than that you had better start packing a bag o' goodies everywhere you go! I always have the following with me these days....cut veggies like carrots and cucumbers, almonds, an apple or banana and hard boiled eggs. That way I don't starve or turn into a bitchy Whole 30 zombie.

4) I cook for my family every night. But I have NEVER cooked as much as I have in the past week. Everything I eat, I have to prepare. Today alone I spent 3 solid hours stocking the fridge with prepped Whole 30 foods. Mostly because if I don't have something to eat when I am ravenous, then I know I will be more likely to cheat. So I have reaquainted myself with every cooking tool in my house. Crock pot, food processor, spice grinder, mandolin, immersion blender...you name it, I've used it. This is my actual fridge as of this afternoon....

Boom!!

1. Bottom line for Week 1: It sucked. It was hard. But I did it. And I am starting to feel better. My jeans are already looser and my skin looks awesome. I actually happily drink coffee with just plain coconut milk in it. And I am pretty damn pumped that I didn't totally buckle when I felt terrible. Bring it on Week 2 ;)

Whole 30 - Day 1 Musings and Whining

Today is Day 1 of my Whole 30 journey.  While I don't intend to blog everyday about this I figured I would jot down some thoughts on the first day so that I can reflect back....

So what I can tell you so far about Whole 30.
1) It could be called Whole Paycheck. Or Whole Night in the Grocery Store. I spent 2 hours and a lot of money buying food on Saturday night (yes I'm so cool) to prep and stock my fridge for this challenge. I leaned a lot about hidden sugars though I will say that.

2) I have been staring at a black cup of coffee for about 15 minutes. Just staring at it. I think I will eventually take a sip.... I love coffee. Coffee with creamer (i was using coconut milk creamer) and stevia. Yummy. OR my most favorite...Iced Grande Vanilla Latte from Starbucks. I could seriously live off of those things. But alas, for 30 days I will be drinking black coffee. I am predicting that I just stop drinking it all together and that the Starbucks baristas may call in a missing persons report for me....

3) Took a sip of the coffee....sad face.

4) I have a ton of food in my fridge. I have prepped NONE of it. Lol. I need to get on that or I am going to be relegated to eating hard boiled eggs and raw carrots all day.

5) I ate TERRIBLY all weekend. Worse than I have in a long time. I topped it off with a creamy shrimp pasta dish at Carrabas after a day of drinking beer at a Ravens game and then a night cap of Swedish fish. Yes really. At first I thought it was awesome. Then I got so full and grossly bloated and I felt terrible. Before I went to bed last night I was thinking how glad I was that I was going to rid my body of all the toxins I ate this weekend....
Now I just want some creamer in my damn coffee.

6) I can do anything for 30 days. I will feel great in 30 days. Maybe even late next week. This week is going to suck. It just is. But I will be fine....the rest of you, well I would avoid looking me directly in the eye on Thursday or Friday.

Falling On Your Face In Public and Other Cult Related Things

Yes I did in fact fall on my face in public. Well to be more exact I fell on my ass in a room full of approximately 100 people who were at the time watching me (and many other athletes) compete.

Before I get into how that happened, let me first point out that I referred to myself as an "Athlete". Not only did I refer to myself as such, I truly do think of myself as an athlete, at almost 35 years old. How did this happen? Pretty sure a year and a half ago, all I was doing was an occasional "yog" (thats my version of a jog) and some Jillian Michaels DVDs in my  basement.

Its funny how things change. I was indeed suffering through those DVDs last winter. And then I started training with a friend of mine, who also happens to be a kick ass trainer. She is amazing at what she does and was very good about NOT letting me make excuses and teaching me how to be accountable for my health both in the gym and in the kitchen. To date I can honestly say that Anna taught me more about how to eat properly than anyone else. I distinctly hear her voice in my head at night when I "need" a snack saying "If you aren't willing to eat fruit or nuts, then you aren't hungry". And she is right. I can never repay her for helping me reprogram my own thoughts about food and also the scale (she got me to throw that m-effer OUT!!)

Fast forward to this time last year and I went to a CrossFit competition that my husband was competing in. To be totally honest, I thought Crossfit and all the wackos that did it (including Bill) had to be truly disturbed to torture themselves in the name of fitness. Seriously. But I went to be a supportive wife. For the record, Bill did awesome and thus began him turning into a Crossfit super beast. And I got totally and instantaneously sucked in to the supportive and competitive Crossfit atmosphere. I pondered it for about 3 days and then told Bill it as time I "drank the Koolaid" and thats a direct quote.

A week later I strolled into Titan Crossfit and did my first WOD. It had snatches or overhead squats and burpees and some other horrible movements in it. All I wanted to do was survive....and I did! And then Nick, our coach, said there was dessert which only in Crossfit is something you DON'T want to hear. Dessert was 200m runs (gag) and handstand holds....say what?? I literally laughed out loud because there was NO way I was going to get my ass inverted on a wall. HA HA! Yeah well Nick had other ideas and basically had me kick up and pushed my legs at the wall until they stuck. And there I was almost 34 years old, upside down and being cheered on by a wall full of other upside down people. I was hooked. Signed up and never looked back. Its been almost exactly a year and I can truly say that is one of the best decisions I have ever made.

I'm not going to preach Crossfit here...although I TOTALLY could :) But will I am going to say is that what I have gained from Crossfit are all the intangible things that I hadn't even realized I had lost. Confidence, strength both mental and physical, determination, grit, commraderie, sense of self and a whole group of new friends who feel the same way I do.

So fast forward another year and here I am a Crossfit athlete.
 Athlete: (n) a person who is proficient in sports and other forms of physical exercise.
Yup that is me. I have now competed in 2 regional competitions and 3 local/in house competitions of my own volition. And in the most recent one, I fell hard on my ass in front of a group of 100+ of my peers while doing a VERY simple jumping movement. And it HURT. And it was EMBARASSSING. And you know what? I got up and kept going. I kept going through the shame and the pain and I didn't stop until I was done. I wish I could say my performance helped us to a win but it did not :( However in some ways it was a win for me because I didn't give up, I didn't give in, I believed in myself and kept going....
And trust me the girl I was a year and a half ago would not have. 

Why Haven't I Blogged in Year and a Half....

Because I've been too busy living life to blog about it :)

I probably won't regularly blog after this but I figure why not take a few minutes to reflect on the past year and a half. When I left all my readers (yes all 7 of you) I had just fessed up to being lazy and had taken the very beginning baby steps in my journey to change and be healthy and happy.

Well good news, I am indeed healthy and happy. And I took a path that I never would have expected to get there. Before I go into how I basically joined a cult and changed my life, let me tell you a few things I didn't do to get to this place.

1. I did not continue to obsess about the scale. That thing is the devil people. It makes you define yourself by a number. Stop giving it power.

2. I did not beat myself up when I fell off the proverbial wagon. And yes I sure did and continue to do so. Went on vacation, ate like a linebacker, feel guilty and guess what...I moved on. I'm eating clean again. Its that simple.

3. I did not worry about what other people thought about me. I stopped caring what other people thought as I huffed and puffed by them while "running" ( I use that word loosely, I'm more of a yogger...almost a jogger). I decided that it didn't matter what size I was I was going to wear spandex shorts because damn it they are comfortable to work out in. If people have the time to judge you while you work out, they aren't working out hard enough.

4. I didn't punish myself. I had to learn that this is a process, a lifestyle, not a diet or temporary phase. Being healthy and fit means committing to it until its no longer a commitment but a part of who you are. If I eat french fries (and I love me some french fries....mmmm Five Guys) then I eat some fries. Guess what, not the end of the world. No need to get down on myself. What purpose does that serve? To that end, I also still struggle to NOT reward myself with food. "Oh I killed that work out today, I totally deserve Five Guys" (I really do have a thing for Five Guys lol).

5. Finally I did not give up. I am still going. I still have a long way to go to where I want to be. I have little goals along the way. I have stopped giving myself deadlines for progress. All that did was bum me out if I didn't reach them. I basically have a bucket list of things I would like to slowly accomplish. I will get to all of them as I continue to grow and work hard.

one of my favorite quotes

Next time I remember to blog I will let you in on all the awesome things I have done in a year in a half :)

Work in Progress....

So about 3 weeks ago, I laid it all out on the table. A lot of people gave me a lot of support and positive feedback which was awesome and made me feel great. And then I went back to my normal way of life and didn't change....
NO I DIDN'T!!!!!!!

For the past 21 days I have been eating healthy and working out. 15 out of 21 days I have worked out for at least 30 minutes. One of those days I ran a 5k - in 25 degree weather at 8am. 2 of those days I have done an hour and a half of Bikram Yoga....105 degrees the whole time. I have also done 30 Day Shred, Power Pilates, a Tony Horton work out, ran 2 miles, and this is just the start!

I signed up with a trainer...who by the way is super hot and awesome and happens to be one of my best friends. I will be working out with her once a week. But she already has me journaling my food each day and gives me feedback about my choices. Just by doing that I have learned so much! Like I don't eat enough, I don't eat close enough together, I need to vary what I eat more and incorporate some slow digesting carbs.

I took my "Before" pictures as well. If you want to know what you really look like...put on a sports bra (ladies) and a pair of bike shorts and take pictures of yourself from the front, back and both sides. Oh yeah..it was humbling. You can hide and camouflage a lot with the right cuts and colors of clothes but there is nothing to hide in that get up.

So at this point, I've lost a few pounds - 4 to be exact. I think my clothes are starting to fit better/differently. I feel much better about myself even if the scale hasn't changed dramatically. I might have to throw that m-effer out so I can stop obsessing about it. But I am starting to look forward to each work out and trying new ones. I also love not having food guilt. Waking up and not thinking "ugh why did I eat that crap yesterday" is a great feeling.

Anyway this is where I am and I figured I would share. New Years Resolutions are right around the corner...why don't you make the decision to change for yourself? You won't regret it.

The big FAT truth

The big FAT truth is that I have been making excuses for myself for too long.

Here they are:
1) its baby weight
2) its my metabolism
3) its because I'm hypothyroid
4) its hereditary
5) its just because I am built this way
6) its because I'm in my 30s
These are just some of many reasons that I weigh more than I want to or to be honest more than I should.

Who wants to admit that they are their own problem. Certainly not me.

While I'm at it here are some of the excuses I made for why losing weight is so hard...
1) i don't have time to exercise
2) i have to cook for sophia and bill too
3)i don't have time to count calories
4) i don't have the energy
5) i hate the gym
6) its too hot, cold, windy, rainy to run.
7) its just not my thing
8) my back/neck/ankle/shins hurt....

So I've wasted days, weeks, months, YEARS not taking responsibility. Starting a diet, joining a gym, hiring a trainer and all the while not fully committing. Not fully accepting responsibility.

I am not quite sure what clicked for me about 2 weeks ago but this little idea kept gnawing at me. I just couldn't shake it. I just couldn't let it go. I kept thinking...you CAN do this. You can lose weight. You can get fit. You can be healthy. You can stop eating things you don't really need to eat. You can exercise regularly. You can make time for yourself.

Maybe it was this article I read where some super fit, health guru that I would usually ignore got straight to the point. He said (in a nutshell) your kids aren't going to love you less if you give a little time to yourself to be healthy. This part sticks with me most-
"The next one is for you moms, and I think I probably should have hired some security before I go into this, but here goes.  Killing yourself slowly is not what your kids need or want from you.  Your children will not get together at Christmas in 30 years and say, “It was totally worth it to have to bury mom so young.  At least she got us to karate, ballet, T-ball, and piano lessons all on the same day while still keeping the kitchen immaculate and doing the laundry.  If that laundry would have piled up we never would have forgiven her!”


So what kind of role model am I going to be for Sophia if I don't eat healthier? Don't get more active? Have body issues? Have self esteem issues connected to my body? 


Maybe it was my friend Chelsey - who has 2 kids, works full time, bakes for the pre school class parties, spends quality time with her friends and family and WORKS OUT ALMOST IF NOT EVERY DAY. And she looks amazing by the way :) But seeing her post her runs, her workouts etc on Facebook made me look at fitness differently. She inspired me. (thats right General :)


Maybe it was the blog article my friend Taylor wrote (who by the way WON  Expedition Impossible...the reality competition on tv this summer) about eating Paleo that made me look at the way I eat and think hey I CAN do that. Why do I need processed food or grains or dairy? I will be honest and say I miss cheese the most...but I'll live. I feel better about what I eat each day. It feels so GOOD not to have food guilt at night or the next day!!!


Maybe it was my friend Anna, who is a certified trainer but also works full time, is going to school and finds time to work out. Its a part of who she is. She drove to VA and did a TOUGH MUDDER just because she was compelled to do it. Thats 9 miles of firey obstacles folks. No joke. She is a badass. And she will drive up to PA to run/walk 2 miles with me just to be my athletic supporter ;) 


Maybe it was wanting to wear cute knee high boots and skinny jeans like all the cool kids. Maybe it was wanting to be IN the pictures this spring. Maybe it was wanting to not avoid my reflection most days. Maybe it was the quote "What you eat in private, you wear in public". 


Maybe it was all of these things.


So here I am putting it out there. So if I fail i can't make excuses.  I am here to say I AM DOING IT. period. And if that can be inspiring, helpful or just interesting to anyone else. Well why not share it. And this time if I fail...I fail because of me. Not any other reason. And I am NOT ok with that. 

Tiffany

Today was a Good "Mom" Day

Have you ever had one of those days at work when you are firing on all cylinders? Everything is clicking and you feel great. Putting out fires with style and grace. Impressing coworkers with your brilliance. Getting well deserved praise from your boss. Aren't those days great? Well you have "good mom" days like that too. Minus the coworkers and praise...

Everyday as a mom is a good day. But lets be honest...some days I am a just a better mom than other days. I know that sounds bad but its the truth.

But some days I am able to do more,  be more patient and be the best mom I can be. I have no idea why one day I wake up like this instead of my normal mom self. As a normal mom, I am loving and caring. I change diapers, wipe snot, clean up "uh-ohs", kiss boo boos, you name it. I make breakfast, lunch and dinner. Plus snacks, run errands, clean and do household chores. I play silly games and read the same book over and over. 

So what makes a "good mom" day as opposed to every other day? I do it all with more grace and patience than normal. I am all smiles in the face of the worst tantrum(s). I do not flinch when hit or kicked while changing a Code Red diaper. I am immune to the "I don't wanna nap" tears (which only last 5 seconds after I leave the room). We go to story time, go the to the playground, take a walk on the trail, play in the backyard and have the yummiest snacks. Homemade grilled cheese sandwiches cut with cookie cutters for lunch and brand new homemade muffins for snacks. 

Who knows...maybe its just that I feel like I am doing a better job than normal. Maybe I really am doing a better job. Either way, when the end of the day comes and I am enjoying my mommy time (aka glass of wine)...I feel like maybe I deserve it a little more than normal. 

Parenthood: A Horcrux or The Giving Tree?

Its been a trying week or two here in the Malstrom household. My little tiny terrorist has been sick. A sick toddler equals a lot of grumpiness and not a lot of sleep...and the toddler can be tricky too.

Needless to say I have discussed the helplessness you feel as a parent when you can't make your little one feel better with several people and have some how had parenthood compared to the two following literary references.

1. A Horcrux

      Now if you are a Harry Potter nerd like me (like you have read the books WAY more than once, not just seen the movies)....you are well versed in the Horcrux concept. If not, here is my pedestrian rundown of it....
A horcrux in the magical world is a powerful dark magic where the magician splits his own soul and places it into another object. Therefore if the magician is killed, he can come back using the small part of his split soul. Voldemort being uber evil, did this seven times. It involves killing someone in the magical world to create a horcrux. Bad stuff.

So you are probably wondering how this concept was compared to parenting!? Well I was explaining to someone how when you hear your baby crying, as a mother you feel a physical ache or pain and you immediately want to fix it. I went on to say "Having a baby is like taking a part of yourself or your soul and putting it outside of your body and watching it walk around". Kinda like a horcrux.... Now, rest easy and know I did not kill anyone to have my baby (unless you count my previously carefree pre-baby self :). But having Sophia was like taking a part of myself and safely tucking it away in someone else. In her I will always have innocence, the ability to not make the same mistakes and feel an unconditional love I never thought possible. My soul outside of my body...thats Sophia, my little horcrux.

2. The Giving Tree

 Now I am pretty sure everyone knows "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein. It the touching story about a little boy and his tree. The tree loves the boy and as time passes the boy grows and no longer wants to swing in the trees branches. So the tree gives the boy his leaves, apples, branches and finally his trunk. And the boy grows old and sits on the stump. Its a touching tribute to love.

But that is not how it was presented to me recently. A much more jaded person than myself said "You know what parenting is like, its like being the effing Giving Tree". As the parent, you are the tree and the little boy is your child/children. You selflessly give and give and the little person takes and takes. In the end you are the stump.

Stump?

Well I am not that jaded, yet. But I do see that as the tree, you love the little boy so much that you want to give him whatever he needs to be happy. You put your child's needs/wants happily before yours because if they are happy, you are happy.

So after 2 weeks of minimal sleep. Hours of fever checking, snot wiping, medicine administering and tear wiping....am I the horcrux or the tree? 

Both I think and neither. But happy nonetheless. 

"Vacation"

So, we spent a week at the beach with a 16 month old...notice how I didn't call it vacation?
My idea of vacation includes quiet, relaxation, sleeping in, and adult beverages. Oh, we had plenty of adult beverages....just not the rest of it.

Apparently 16 month olds do not subscribe to the sleeping in model of vacation. Sophia shared a room with us on this vacation and we learned the following things:
1. Sophia is a very light sleeper.
2. Creaky floors, doors and beds will wake her up.
3. Sophia thinks 5:45 am is a wonderful wake up time on vacation even though she wakes up at 7am at home.
4. Sophia sings to herself in the morning when she wakes up. We knew this but learned that you can't sleep through it when its at the foot of your bed.
5. Saying "sshhh" only works until your 16 month old "shhhhs" you back!
6. Bill is a very good guy and got up most of the days when Sophia did letting me sleep in....although that was probably in his best interest, seeing as I am a nasty piece of business without the proper amount of sleep.

Once we downed several cups of coffee each day...it was off the beach. And in Sophia's case, off to the races! She LOVED the beach. The sand, the water, the sea gulls, all of it. She was non-stop for 2 hours at a time each morning and then again in the afternoon. It was awesome! And exhausting.Bill and I had to tag out every 20 minutes or so just to keep up.
Some babies are afraid of the ocean, not ours. She would run head first into waves breaking on the shore if we weren't there to grab her. She took a couple of headers into the waves and still wasn't deterred.
Sand became Sophia's new best friend and my worst enemy. She would roll in it, dig in it, pile it on herself, fling it this way and that. She was like a pig in well you know. I learned a valuable lesson from a friend....BABY POWDER! if you put a little one your hands or theirs and rub it in, sand falls off! Thank you Erica! Sophia also became accustomed to cold hose downs before we entered the house every day. And she learned what its like to go commando in her bathing suit :) I learned that any diaper, swim diaper or not is really just a glorified sand trap. So my daughter had the most adorable plumbers butt for most of the week :D
Sea gulls (aka DUCKS according to Sophia) became a huge attraction. Sophia would see one, point, yell "Duuss!" and go running. And I mean running. Her little chub legs were pumping and she didn't stop. Finally when the "duus" would get smart and fly away, I would have Sophia wave bye bye and back to the water we would go. This only happened 20-30 times each day.....

Midday we would have 1 to 1 and a half hours of vacation in the form of nap time. Sitting on the beach or on the deck, relaxing and doing nothing. It was awesome. Then the beach tornado would wake up and we would do it all over again!

I will say that Sophia learned a TON of new words at the beach: boat (boa), bird (which replaced duck), plane (pane), bye bye, fish (fissss), Parker her cousin(par-per), and many more. It was very fun :)

Bedtime would come and Mommy and Daddy would pretty much collapse in a deck chair with a cocktail or 4 and then drag ourselves quietly to bed so as not to wake the little beach bum. And the next day it started all over again!

Now we are home and back to sleeping in our own beds (heaven). Sophia is sleeping until 6:45....vast improvement. And I am wondering what our next beach "vacation" will be like.

Our Little Surfer Girl :)

Momma Said

There'd be days like this: WARNING...this is not a warm and fuzzy day in the life of a mom post. Its more of a FML post...don't feel compelled to read it.  Sorry bear with me...

If you know me, you know I'm an animal lover. I have 3 pets and would have the equivalent of Noah's Ark if I was allowed to (Bill is sane and won't let me). Anyway, I donate to every animal related cause possible and have to change the channel when sad animal commericals come on because I can't stand it.
So, today when I accidentally ran over a cat that ran out in front of my car...I pretty much lost my shit. I cried the whole way home and now realize that I will have to drive back by it tomorrow on my way to work. I am already dreading it and want to go back now to bury it but know that I will never recover if I try to do it and won't be able to even if I try. I am tearing up just thinking about it.

When I got home my lovely daughter decided that 16 month olds DO NOT need to nap and threw the first all out nap rebellion in recent months.
Then my brand new iPhone 4 basically shit the bed after a routine software update and I had to restore it to factory settings and then fortunately since i backed it up...reload it.

Shortly after that I was 5 seconds to late letting my dog outside while she was hunch backed and making "horking" noises to  then puked all over the kitchen floor and the area rug by the door she didn't make it out.  Sophia found this to be an amazing sight and got very upset that I wouldn't let her play in it and pitched a fit. While trying to keep her from the pile of puke, I stepped in it.

I am going running (its actually more like a fast shuffle but whatevs). Then I am drinking my dinner and going to bed.

Things I Don't Want to Forget

Sophia is growing and changing so quickly that I want to remember everything little thing. Here are some of the things she is doing right now that I love and don't ever want to forget...

Nap Time for Loveys - Sophia loves to take her stuffed animals, lay them on their bellies, cover them with a blanket and pat their backs so they go to sleep. Its adorable. She does this at every nap time and bed time and if she finds a rogue towel or blanket any time of the day.

Dancing - currently it is an arm swinging from side to side move that transitions into a full out twirl. She also throws in a hand shake here and there. The best part is the full smile and the giggles that go with it.

Reading- Sophia "reads" books constantly. Mostly its just turning the pages but the book is always right side up. She also talks like she is reading the book. Most recently she has been able to accurately and consistently point to objects on the pages of a book (i.e. Where is the ball? Where is the cat?)

Dog Watcher- Our poor dog Stella is Sophia's BFF (the reverse is not true however). Sophia finds Stella's collar and finds Stella to put it on her. This mainly means that she repeatedly puts it on Stella's nose and laughs. She also pets her and lays on her to give her hugs. Stella kindly tolerates all of it. She is a saint.

Cat Finder- New favorite past time...find the kitties. The kitties are not a fan of this game but it happens none the less. Poor Vinnie can't decide if he likes her attention or not...which usually means he is cornered and "patted" excessively and his tail becomes his own kitty leash.....

Wagoneer - Sophia has a small Little Tikes wagon that she loves to pull around our house. She puts Minnie and Mickey Mouse in it and tours the main floor aimlessly. She has a very determined and simultaneously proud expression on her face as she goes. As I am typing this she is doing this exact thing in the kitchen, only she has one of my flip flops in the wagon :)

Talking-
Here are the words Sophia currently says:
Dada
Mama- but only when she feels like it ::eye roll::
Delda- for Stella our dog
Ditty- Kitty
Duck
Bubble- pronounced Buh-bbllle for bubbles
Ball
Whats Dat- prounced wah dat? for everything and anything she points to all day long
Diaper- pronounced Die-da. Which she goes and get from a bin when she wants to be changed.
Book- pronounced buuh
Uh-oh - which she says very dramatically "Uh OOOOOOHHHH"
Hi
Yes
No
Nite Nite
Good Job- Pronounced jood jaa :)

Pointing to Objects- Ok so she points to everything so you can tell what it is which can get old but its so amazing to watch her absorb everything. She also points to things when you ask her where they are. She knows where all the words she can say are. And also where lights and doors are. Where upstairs and downstairs are. Where her eyes, nose, hair and belly are. And where the chinese lanterns (I call them lanterns) are hanging in her room.

Cheerleading- Sophia is her biggest fan! If she does something that she is proud of or that I say Good Job! to....she claps and says Yay!!

Taking Flight- When she is very intent on getting somewhere she puts her head down and her arms up and back behind her and gets up on her tippy toes and books. Its looks like she is trying to fly :)

Hugs & Kisses- When Sophia hugs you she lays her head on your collarbone and pats your arm at the same time. She gives kisses 2 ways. She blows kisses and say Muah. And she gives big sloppy open mouth kisses too :)

Beware the 4th of July

Beer, BBQing, friends, family, fireworks...whats not to love about the 4th of July? I always loved the mid summer holiday because there was so much to do and so many people to hang out with.

Then I had a baby....

Don't get me wrong... I still like seeing friends, family and the beer and the BBQing. But the fireworks....I hate them. I am sure as Sophia gets older and oohs and aahs at them, I will love them once more. But for the past 2 summers I have lived in fear that they will create a meltdown or even worse...wake her up at night.

The thing about fireworks is that every single redblooded male wants to drive up to PA and buy the biggest most obnoxious ones they can find, get tanked and set them off....5 feet from my house. No bueno.

And up here in Podunk, PA the locals think MIDNIGHT is a good time for the town fireworks show. Yes, seriously. And no I couldn't make this stuff up. So last night at 12:01 AM, they had a 20 minute long fireworks display that was being set off approximately 1/4 mile from my back door.

I'm moving.

The 15 Month Rebellion

I recently received my monthly "Your baby/toddler/kid is blank months old" email from babycenter.com....Here is what it said:

Doing errands around town is harder than ever with a pint-size explorer in tow. Being strapped down in a car seat or stroller is the last place your toddler wants to be: Expect an earful — usually accompanied by an arched back and flailing arms and legs — when it's time to buckle up.


You know what I thought.....Oh good its not just my child!!! Pint size explorer...more like pint sized terrorist! 


Up until recently, we could take Sophia anywhere and have no problems. Dinner, shopping, parties etc. She was happy to go on the adventure and hang out. Now she is 15 months old and apparently the party is over....


She wants NOTHING to do with strollers or high chairs. She will tolerate the car seat mostly because I toss a ton of toys in her lap and sing ridiculous songs to her until the car noises lull her to sleep. 


Bill and I took her out to dinner the other night. Nothing new, we do it every couple of weeks (yes I actually cook 5-7 nights a week...even I am amazed). Set up the high chair, placemat, toys, crayons, sippy cup and snacks and we thought we were good to go. WRONG. oh so wrong. Sophia's contentment lasted about 15 minutes. And we even had a intelligent server who asked what we wanted for her before we even ordered so it would be out long before our food. This was a first and I was amazed. Alas...it did not matter. 


Step 1 of Sophia's rebellion was to start throwing stuff on the floor. 
Step 2 was to start bucking in the highchair like she was riding an arabian stallion.
Step 3 was to bang anything she could get her hands on as loudly as possible on the table and when moved away from the table on the high chair itself.
Step 4 was to start pulling up the table cloth as high above her head as she could. Would be cute if it didn't upset everything on her side of the table.....remember the toys, crayons, sippy cup etc...
Step 5 was to start the fake crying/whining routine
Step 6 was to kick and flail her legs willy nilly and hard.
Note: This all happened in under 5 minutes


Finally we thought ok, lets minimize the drama and let her out of the high chair and Bill will walk around with her until her food comes. 


THIS WAS ULTIMATELY OUR DOWNFALL.


Do not make this mistake. It was great at first. Everyone smiled at the oh so cute little girly toddling around the salad bar pointing and saying "dat" and her doting father who told her what "dat" was every time. She was quiet pleased with herself and was blowing kisses and waving to the servers. Everyone was charmed. 
Then the food came and we tried to put her back into the high chair.....


And the rebellion was won by a 31 inch person with the lungs of a full grown  opera singer. The battle was over in a mere 15 seconds. Parents were defeated, toddler was triumphant. 


As soon as the first wailing scream left our little "angel"s lips...we were done. Bill immediately took her out the doors and I sat deflated looking at our full plates of food whilst asking for to go boxes. Yes, I wanted to stay. Yes, I know this happens. But NO I was not going to be that family with that baby that won't stop crying in the restaurant. I hate those people and I refuse to join their ranks. 


So the babycenter email 2 days later made me feel much better. But we will be steering clear of any meltdown inducing situations for a little while :) 

Sing, Sing a Song, Sing Out Loud....

If you know me, you know I can't sing. If you know my husband, you know he is a worse singer than I am (sorry honey, its true.) You might also know that I taught elementary school for 9 years as well. I was the non-singing elementary school teacher. There was no Wheels on the Bus or London Bridge going down in my room. Why? Because I worked hard to earn the students respect and one out of tune rendition of Grand Old Flag would chuck it right out the window. I lip synced and hummed and it got the job done.
Then I had Sophia.
Now I sing about EVERYTHING. I have made up songs that I sing daily just to make it through the tedious necessary tasks that my toddler hates. I have a "brush your hair" song, a "eat your veggies" song, a "time for school" song. My personal favorite is the "put on your pajamas" song....which is actually the hokey pokey. "You put your left leg in, you put your left leg out". Whatever, I know its crazy. But it makes Sophia lay calmly while I put on her footie pajamas instead of squirm and kick like a spider monkey. So I sing.
I sing in public too. When I don't even realize I am doing it. Like in the grocery store when I want Sophia to make it 5 more minutes so I don't have to abandon my shopping cart full of stuff. I have been known to not only sing Wheels on the Cart (oh yeah I modified it to keep up with the times) but to do jazz hands and possibly some foot work to keep that little girl giggling through the line.
Not only do I sing, but my husband will sing as well. Ask him about Old MacDonald having goats and fish on his farm (yeah they don't make noises) but he rocked it out to get through an iffy bath time one night.
My point is...whatever you aren't before you have kids....isn't what you are after.
"If you're tired and you know it, chug coffee!" I'll leave you with that classic morning time ditty from my kitchen....

Rebel thinking.....what's so wrong with 1 and done?

Sophia is over a year old so that prompts many people to begin asking       "When are you going to have #2?".

First of all don't get me started on the "whats next" phenomenon. As soon as you get serious with someone its "when are you getting engaged" then "whens the wedding" then "when are you having a baby" then "when are you having another baby". It has always been a concept that bothered me. Why must there be a next thing? What is wrong with finding a stage in life you are most comfortable with and staying there? I mean look at the Duggars is there really a need for kid #20 or #49 ?
Anyway, I guess the general concensus is once you have one kid you must want to have another. But what if you don't? What if you want to be a party of 3?

I am an only child by birth (I have had a few step brothers and sisters along the way). Many only children feel like they were "jipped" by not having siblings because they missed out on a life experience as a result. I am not one of those only children. I am sure having a brother or sister is awesome. I have just never felt a loss or lacking in my life as a result of not having one.For whatever reason people think once your baby is 1, its time to start thinking about the next one.

Um, toddlers are exhausting. The game changes every day. What they can do, say, destroy is  ever changing and you just try to keep one step ahead at any given moment. Adding an infant to the mix seems like crazyness to me. More power to you if you want 2 under 2! You deserve warrior status, a key to the city, a lifetime supply of diapers and a new Keurig. No question.

But what is so wrong with not wanting that. If you say "one and done" people look at you like they must have heard you wrong. Now I have not fully committed to "one and done' but I have been very open with the possibility. I have also told most of my friends and family that I won't even entertain the possibility of #2 until Sophia is at least 2 years old. Clearly my one furiously twitching eyelid and clenching and unclenching of my fists when I say it has been convincing and no one has asked....yet.

I just wonder why I would have to defend this concept if that is, in fact what happens with my family?  Why is deciding to focus your parenting, effort and love on one precious child something that is so unexpected? Is it truly insane of me after a night where I was puked on three times, spent 3 hours sitting upright in a chair holding a miserable 22 lb baby, only to survive the following day by drinking an unhealthy amount of coffee and covering my whole body in Germ-X to think "I don't know if I  want to go through this again"? I think not.

Life Before Baby vs. Life After Baby

One could say that I enjoyed my twenties. One could also say on some nights I enjoyed them a little too much. I continued in this fashion until the ripe age of 30 when I found out (somewhat unexpectedly....) that I was pregnant. And if you ask me how this might have come about, I blame the Party Block's pool bar for opening early and serving me a stiff bloody mary or 3.....

Anyway, as soon as the stick said "pregnant", my current foot loose and fancy free lifestyle came to a screeching halt. No more cocktails, late nights or crazy antics. Unless you count Maalox, insomnia and hormones....

I ,being a truly delusional pregnant woman thought that once I had the baby, life would get back to "normal". Bahahaha! I can laugh at this now because its been 14 months and I know that normal is whole different can of worms.

Late Nights-

Before Baby- Out and about until the bar/restaurant/club closed down and kicked you out. Maybe a late night diner experience and then maybe even a late late night at a friends house. 

After Baby- You're baby won't go to sleep so you have been up all night in a rocking chair. Or you stay up past 10-10:30 watching True Blood and realize that early morning wake up is coming for you....

Date Night- 

Before Baby- Long leisurely evening doing whatever the hell you and your significant other feel like. Usually this is dinner, drinks, in the city or maybe an overnight to AC or OC or where ever. You have no responsibilities, its the weekend and you clocked out at 5 on Friday. 

After Baby- Date night revolves around bedtime, location and a babysitter. If you are lucky (like we are) your parents will come to your house for babysitting and that makes it easier. That way you don't have to pack up all the baby stuff, drive somewhere, unload it etc. 

Once the babysitter has arrived, get in the car and get where ever as quickly as possible. Get there and promptly both parents make sure their cell phones are turned on and up and placed prominently on the table "just in case". Enjoy dinner and maybe even get a drink....if you have an easy going babysitter. But then get home at a decent hour, relieve said babysitter and go to bed because morning comes quick. I distinctly remember that my 5 year anniversary dinner was at 4:30 so that we could get home before the 8 o'clock bedtime/feeding/disaster...

Sleeping In

Before Baby- I was a sleeping in master. If I was ever in a pageant, sleeping in would be my talent. I was able to block out all noise, light, alarm clocks etc and sleep in until the late hours of the morning on the weekends and right through classes back at SSU. As long as I got where I needed to be or needed to get done, done....sleeping in was a given and all other things worked around it. It was glorious. I now look back on my sleeping in  pre-baby lovingly as a special time in my life. 

After Baby- hahahaha! sleeping in....what the hell is that?

I get truly excited any day of the week when I wake up after 7 am. I am not in the habit of setting an alarm because I am a stay at home mom and also because I have a built in 32 inch tall 23 lb alarm in the other room who promptly begins waking up around 6:30 everyday.
Now I do have a very considerate husband who lets me sleep in on the weekends. Sounds great....except it does not mean the same thing. Sleeping in now means 8:30am, maybe. It also includes the door being shut, the bathroom fan running and a baby who is not crying or running around shrieking just because. If any of those things are not properly executed, there is no extra sleep.

Naps
Before Baby- Stayed out late last night? Don't have much going on today? Why not take a nap? On the couch or in bed. Doesn't matter. No alarm clocks necessary. Just sleep till you want to. Wake up, feel relaxed.
After Baby- "Naps" are something that only truly happen for babies. Yes they say "nap when your baby naps". Great concept except that is the only time you can get anything done. Like bathe or eat or clean. Yes you can occasionally catch a nap during the day but its more like the continuation of the sleep that you got in 2 hour spurts the night before. Eventually the nap schedule gets more defined and you can nap but by then you're  getting a decent amount of sleep and you use this time to execute household chores that are impossible with a mobile 1 year old around. Like vacuuming or unloading the dishwasher. Or you pound coffee to keep up with the whirlwind disaster that is a 1 year old.

All in all, EVERYTHING changes when you have a baby. Normal becomes getting up early, functioning with less sleep, running around trying to keep up with whatever new stage develops overnight and then doing it again the next day. Its exhausting and ever changing and so much cooler than you ever thought possible.