Why Sleep is Never the Same

When you are pregnant, lots of people give you lots of advice. Most of it is annoying and almost condescending. But the most annoying one is "get your sleep now!!" usually followed by an all knowing chuckle. I remember being pregnant and thinking yeah like I can store up all the sleep I get now and use it later, thanks.
I now have an almost 14 month old and she sleeps pretty damn good :) She has been sleeping 11-12 straight hours a night for about 8 months now. We were lucky and she followed the typically sleep extension progression that all the books said. She started soothing herself to sleep at about 4 months (i.e. we didn't have to hold her or rock her to sleep anymore) And we only had to deal with 1 week of "I learned to stand up so I won't go to sleep anymore" drama. All in all we have been pretty damn lucky on the sleep front.
But after you have a baby you NEVER sleep the same again. Maybe when they leave the house for college?? I don't know.
Here is what I do know: (yes I know every kid is different, this is based on my experience)

1-2 months - You are up every 2-3 hours. 4 hours if you're lucky. You never knew you could appreciate 4 straight hours of sleep in your life. This goes for men too! Whether your wife is nursing or not, when your little baby lets out that "what the hell? Where am I? Why am I alone? I'm hungry!"cry in the middle of the night...you'll wake up too. Those of you who say "I can't function on less than 8 hours of sleep"....uh YES YOU CAN. Its at this point that coffee becomes more than a beverage and more like a salvation.

3-4 months - You start getting 5-7 hours straight if you are lucky. Some still only sleep in 3 hour stints. But you are so used to getting no sleep that you wake up thinking something must be wrong, panic and check on the baby. Then the baby looks so peaceful, you stay and watch the baby too long. Now you are wide awake. Great. Inevitably when you finally settle back in, the baby wakes up.

5-6 months- This is when many babies turn the corner and really start sleeping for 8 hours or more at a time. Now depending on when your baby goes to sleep at night this can be wonderful. Sophia went to bed at 7 so she still woke up at 2 or 3 am. However, she also started getting teeth at 5 months. Teething is the anti-christ and mortal enemy of sleep. A teething baby wakes up to a sore achy mouth all night long and in response cries and cries and drools and cries. So you will be up all night long. You may cry and drool as well. Hope you got a comfy chair for the nursery...you will spend many hours not sleeping in it.

7-9 months- SLEEP! Around now Sophia was done with middle of the night bottles. She started sleeping 12 hours straight every night. She did this earlier but I know that at this point she was doing it consistently. Its wonderful. The first time your child does it, you might freak and worry. The 2nd time they do it, you think please don't let it be a fluke. By the 3rd,4th and 5th time...you are joyous. You feel the need to (and do)post about it on facebook and brag to your friends.
** Don't forget evil teething can interrupt this wonderment at any time**

8-10 months- For us this time frame went from fantastic sleeping back to what we called the "Bedtime Battle". Before we figured out that little 4 month old Sophia did not like to be rocked to sleep anymore there was a harried week or 2 of us almost losing our minds at bedtime each night. The local wine shop had an increase in sales because I would have a glass of wine or 3 after bedtime each night just to calm down.
At 9 months Sophia had discovered how to pull up on stuff. So cute. So deceptively cute. Its cute until its bedtime and you put your wonderful little sleeper in the crib and expect the normal, roll over go to sleep routine. Oh no. Not any more. That kid can stand!! The crib is a cruising baby's dream. Until they figure out they are exhausted and don't know how to sit back down....then its a nightmare. Stand up, cry, repeat. Even when you put the exhausted baby down, they stand back up. At this point you consider trying to explain why this is silly to a baby...then you realize you are losing it. Eventually we had to CIO (Cry It Out). It sucked. Doesn't work for everyone. Daddies tend to be the weak link (Sorry Bill). But if you stick to your guns, it works in a day or two. Unless you have a stress puker (a baby that stresses out when you let it cry and pukes instead. then you have a crying baby covered in puke and you have to start all over again.) I thank my lucky stars that Sophia was not a stress puker.

12 months - Your now toddler has made it back to the typical sleep routine by now. You have become accustomed to the occasional teething interruptions. Things are good. So why aren't you sleeping like you did pre-baby, you ask? Because after a year of not sleeping like a normal person, you are conditioned to sleep lighter, hear every sound and wake up. Also babies don't understand the "its the weekend so we sleep in" concept so whenever your kid wakes up during the week, thats their weekend wake up time. And randomly they will wake up at like 5:30am for no reason and so will you.

Now I am only 14 months into parenthood, so I am hoping or have been told that it keeps getting better. And I know when she is a teenager, I will be dragging her out of bed. But all I know is that I never appreciated how truly blissful it was to go to sleep whenever I wanted with no chance of being woken up unexpectedly at 3:18am. Or how what a true gift being able to sleep in on your day off for a long as you want really is. Because once you have a baby...you never sleep the same again.

Things They DON'T Teach in Baby Class (Part 1)

1. Teething - Oh don't get me wrong, teething is in all the books and you hear other people talk about teething. Its not like you don't know what it is or what to expect to an extent. What you don't know unless you've had a child before is that teething lasts FOREVER. Case in point: Sophia got her first 2 teeth at 5 months on the dot. Somewhat early in the teething range but still nothing unusual. She is almost 14 months and is still teething. And she isn't even close to done. She currently (as of today) has 13 teeth! And 3 of them are the dreaded molars. But she still has 7 more to go before she is done. She should have all of her baby teeth by 3. Yup 3, I am hoping by 2 so that we only have 10 more months of this..... (what its actually like to have a teething baby is a whole other blog in its self.)
 
2. The musical toys - Ahh yes the adorable musical toys. Babies love them! Press a button, something lights up and a song plays. Press another button or lever or handle and you get another light and another song. Fantastic.
Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat....well ok you get the point. You will here the same songs...wait not even songs, parts of songs, over and over again until you think you may go insane. Some toys must be hidden. Some toys must be turned off (until they figure out how to turn them on...) some toys must die. Any toy creator who makes a toy with only 1 volume level....LOUD is a sadist. I'm talking to you maker of the Vtech Ladybug toy!!

3. 3 feet down rule - This rule applies only when your precious little baby is suddenly mobile. Not the cute- rolling- around-mobile. I'm talking on-a- mission-to-move mobile. Actively crawling to start with. If you have a toddler or crawling baby you know the 3 foot down rule. If not ,here it is...look around the room you are in right now. I am sure it looks lovely. Now look at the bottom 3 feet of this room....what do you see? Probably normal, non mobile baby stuff. You may have even put the outlet covers in already (good job). Now I'll tell you want you see....disaster waiting to happen. Bahahaha (evil laugh)!!! Why? Because all the stuff that looks normal will become problematic once your very inquisitive baby can move. I am sure you know outlets and cords are bad. But what about all the other stuff?
Bookshelves with books or dvds below 3 feet become tons of fun for a toddler. Pull them out one by one and chuck them over their shoulder or carry them off into another room.
 Anything with a door or a handle? Yeah that will be opened and whatever was "safe" behind it isn't.....ask my friend about her son and the box of tampons....lol.
What about things you don't even think about...like the dishwasher? Ever try to empty a dishwasher with a crawling/walking baby around? Ha! They go right for the knives in the bottom cutlery section faster than you can blink. Dog water bowls = water amusement park. Dog food = baby food. I could continue but I think you got the picture....

4. Baby food - The baby food stage is so fun. Introducing new things to your baby and watching their instantaneous reactions is wonderful. Thats why there are so many "baby didn't like green beans" pictures on facebook. Or whatever new food is introduced. The look of pure joy, hatred, shock or disgust is priceless each time. Now what you don't know is that some baby food is delicious. If you make purees yourself you will realize this quickly. I have one friend in particular who I am pretty sure made extra sweet potatoes for herself each time. And also some toddler foods are quiet tasty as well....Crunchies are actually cheese puffs. Healthier for sure, but also come in a variety of flavors! Even cinnamon maple.....however I prefer, I mean SOPHIA prefers mild cheddar.

Sophia's "What the heck is cereal" picture ;)

Now this topic is endless and I have an actual list of things to add to this but it would take forever, so for now you will have to make due with installment #1. I am sure my 5 readers will be waited on bated breath for the next installment ;)

Daycare: Who Cried More?

I have been lucky enough to be a stay at home mom full time for the past year. Being able to see Sophia change and grow everyday for 13 months has been an amazing honor. It has been the most rewarding, demanding, under appreciated, exhausting, exhilarating job I have ever had. I was able to build and nurture a bond with my daughter that is my happiest achievement.

With that said, after a year of talking to a human being who does not talk back (yet) for the majority of my days and living in a quaint town where I know no one....I needed some adult time.  I am sure I will look back and cherish those first 13 months of me and Sophia time as she grows. However when you realize that you haven't left your house for 2 days and you are wearing the same combination of yoga pants and t-shirts on a daily basis, you begin to crave the "outside" world a little bit.

I was lucky enough to land a part time 2 day a week job at a local contractors office. Good pay, flexible schedule, hot boss...whats not to like?
My husband, Bill is my boss and has been very supportive of me going back to work on a part time basis, especially since it helps our bottom line and gets more done around his office. I on the other hand get to drive to work and drink Starbucks on the way, sit and do computer work (and chat on MS Messenger with my friends....shhh!!) and feel like I am only responsible for  me and the tasks at hand for 10 -ish hours a week. Its great!

Whats NOT great is the daycare drop off process....

Now let me say that we found a WONDERFUL daycare center 5 minutes from our house that takes 1 year olds part time. Its brand new and the director is wonderful and has a masters in Early Childhood which warms my elementary school teacher heart. Bill and I were very impressed with the center, the director, the staff and our neighbor's son goes there as well and they had only great things to say. So, all in all we got lucky and are very happy with the "school" Sophia goes to twice a week.

With that said....the first couple of days of daycare drop off is HORRENDOUS. There is no way around it. There is crying. Lots of crying. Baby crying. Mommy crying. Scared crying. Guilt crying. Separation anxiety crying. Just crying crying. And since my little miss is very aware at 13 months, she KNOWS I left her. She isn't a little baby blob who may sense that I am not immediately around but that she is safe. She can look around the room and say "not the momma, not the momma" and cry. :(

Needless to say every day for the first 2 weeks that I dropped her off I was a mess. As soon as she started sobbing, I would sob. I cry on my way out of the building, to the car, in the car, on the phone to anyone crazy enough to take my call (thanks Bill & Val & my mom). I would then make the mistake of going back to check or calling to check too soon and continue crying. I so wanted to run into that room, grab my baby and bolt.

But I didn't. And I am SO GLAD that I didn't. For the last week, Sophia did not cry one little baby tear and I didn't cry any big giant I'm a bad mommy tears. She had fun! Lots of fun! And I have started my refrigerator art gallery of pictures made with painted hand and feet prints :)

Handprint Flower

Handprints and 1st Macaroni Necklace

Everyone said "It gets better" and they were right....even though I didn't want to believe them.

Sophia's 1st Birthday Party

I can't believe Sophia will be one tomorrow. What a year! Its had its ups and downs but it is just so amazing to watch an infant grow into the little person who runs around this house all day.
To celebrate this momentous occasion we had a family and friends birthday party at our home. I chose a ladybug theme because 1) Sophia was a ladybug for Halloween 2) She loves ladybugs (or seems to be drawn to them) and 3) thats what I wanted and I am pretty sure I only get to choose for this one and maybe the next one lol :)
Anyway, I had a lot of fun planning and prepping for the party. It was nice to put my teacher abilities to good use. It was like setting up my classroom for the year except it was for one day and it was my house. Needless to say I may have gone overboard but I think I teetered nicely on the sane side of tastefully done :) If I didn't no one told me otherwise (which is both nice and wise of them!)

Here are some pics of the house and the party and such. I forgot to take pictures of the table with food on it of course and lots of other stuff as well but you get the gist!

SAHM: Not for the faint of heart

SAHM: acronym for Stay At Home Mom

Seems like a simple job from the outside in. Stay home. Be maternal. Be a mom. Get stuff around the house done. Whats the big deal, right? 

WRONG. It is by far the hardest job I have ever had. Period. 

On a good day, its the most fun and rewarding job you can find. Full of smiles, giggles, adventures and fun. There is nothing better than seeing your baby/child do anything for the first time. Be there to catch them right before they have a disastrous fall, roll around on the floor and give endless kisses and hugs. That smiley little person, happy as can be. Loving you, loving life. 

On a bad day, the toughest among us consider a small padded room with 1 window and peace and quiet as a possible reality. One of my friends said in a facebook status "my husband may come home and find his wife sitting in the closet, gorging herself on chocolate, rocking back and forth, and laughing maniacally..." I can totally relate.

Tuesday was one of those days. Everything was trying. Sophia did not want to be put down...she is at least 23 pounds....there is only so much carrying one mom can do. When she was on her own, she did EVERYTHING she was not supposed to. Pretty sure "No Thank You" were the only words I said ALL DAY LONG. Climbing on the stone fireplace, throwing food, cups, bottles, trying to climb the stairs, pulling off the corner covers from the stone fireplace, banging on the glass cabinet doors, refusing to nap...the list is endless. When I took her away from any of these things, she cried, yelled and I think at one point tried out a tantrum. Oh and she had a horrible night the night before so I was functioning on about 5 hours of sleep. It was in a word....exhausting. In a few more words...exasperating, frustrating, crazy, maddening. 
Now when you have a bad day at work, you go vent to a co-worker. I have no co-workers. I have a dog, 2 cats and the aforementioned trouble maker. 

Thank you Bill for taking my phone calls and calmly listening to your harried wife vent about the misery that was my day. Thank you Val for letting me vent via email during nap time. I made it through that day thanks to you two and nap time silence. 

Wednesday was a great day. It almost makes me forget Tuesday...almost. 

Sophia aka Trouble

a list of mom stuff

1. There is definitely some sort of snot, milk, formula, spit up etc on your shirt and you shrug wipe at it with a diaper wipe or your sleeve and go about your business. This includes being out in public.
2. You have a profound love for you coffee machine. (My Keurig & I are engaged.)
3. You have more grey hair. Yes literally. At least for me its true.
4. Yoga pants are a staple in your wardrobe and not used only for exercising.
5. One of your arms has quickly become stronger than the other.
6. You know what baby food tastes good and what tastes like vomit.
7. Long hair = hair cut or in my case constant pony tail.
8. Necklaces are a now considered a possible choking hazard. Not for the baby but the from the baby accidentally choking you.
9. You park near the shopping cart return in every parking lot.
10. You know that diaper wipes can clean up anything and will use them accordingly.
11. You know the song to any random Disney or Nickelodeon song. In my case its the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse song. (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Come inside - Its fun inside! M-I-C-K-E-Y    M-O-U-S-E)
12. Doing anything alone and not in a hurry is relaxing. (Especially Target)
13. You are the last one to actually eat at most meals.
14. Businesses that have drive throughs become your favorites. My town has a drive thru Starbucks and a drive thru CVS. I love them.
15. Things that annoyed you before you had kids don't even register now. Example: Repetitive noises would drive me insane. Sophia LOVES to bang things together ALL DAY LONG...not phased.
16. Via Jess Nusbaum - and during this nap, how much time do i have? do i leisurely enjoy my coffee or do i blow dry my hair for the first time in a month? hmmm... is that baby food in my hair, too?
17. I find baby socks everywhere and regularly I pull them out of my purse.
18. Realizing I am out in public with a baby bow in my hair....why? Because my daughter rips them out of her hair repeatedly and I end up sticking them in mine without thinking about it around the house and then I do the same thing out in public. I am so cool. 
19. 
These are just the ones that came to mind as I typed. I will update I'm sure.

First Steps!!!

My daughter has officially taken her first steps! And I in all my mom glory actually caught it on video!
Sophia has been showing some interest in the idea of walking for the past week or so. Mostly she would cruise to the end of something and then let go and promptly fall to a crawling position. Let me say that I am AMAZED at her fearlessness...she just lets go and hopes for the best...I am sure there is a lesson there with some corresponding proverb or cliche' in there.Anyway, she basically falls onto her hands and knees and goes on her merry way. No fuss, no crying.
So, Bill and I have been doing "practice" walking with her when he gets home from work. We put her between us and get her in a standing position and prompt her to "walk" to mommy or daddy. Its ADORABLE and she can take few steps before we have to catch her. The pure joy on her face is to die for. But we haven't considered these steps her "first steps" because we are prompting and encouraging and facilitating them.

This morning we  girls were hanging out in the kitchen, drinking coffee and having girl talk. (So really I was chugging coffee because she decided to wake up at 6am and she was babbling like a banshee). And she started cruising down the counters on our island towards the oven. Now the oven is a main attraction because there is this cute little baby in there that does the same thing that Sophia does and screams and laughs at her.... Anyway, I noticed that Sophia appeared to be cruising with an intent purpose so I whipped out my iPhone just in case.
Next thing I know she gets to the end of the counter where she would usually drop down and crawl the 3 feet to the oven but she does not drop. She steadies herself, shimmies forward and lets go....and walks!!!! It was so awesome! It may have only been 3 little steps but as a mom your heart explodes in excitement and pride. You have just witnessed your child take the first steps of the millions in her lifetime. There is nothing like it.