The 15 Month Rebellion

I recently received my monthly "Your baby/toddler/kid is blank months old" email from babycenter.com....Here is what it said:

Doing errands around town is harder than ever with a pint-size explorer in tow. Being strapped down in a car seat or stroller is the last place your toddler wants to be: Expect an earful — usually accompanied by an arched back and flailing arms and legs — when it's time to buckle up.


You know what I thought.....Oh good its not just my child!!! Pint size explorer...more like pint sized terrorist! 


Up until recently, we could take Sophia anywhere and have no problems. Dinner, shopping, parties etc. She was happy to go on the adventure and hang out. Now she is 15 months old and apparently the party is over....


She wants NOTHING to do with strollers or high chairs. She will tolerate the car seat mostly because I toss a ton of toys in her lap and sing ridiculous songs to her until the car noises lull her to sleep. 


Bill and I took her out to dinner the other night. Nothing new, we do it every couple of weeks (yes I actually cook 5-7 nights a week...even I am amazed). Set up the high chair, placemat, toys, crayons, sippy cup and snacks and we thought we were good to go. WRONG. oh so wrong. Sophia's contentment lasted about 15 minutes. And we even had a intelligent server who asked what we wanted for her before we even ordered so it would be out long before our food. This was a first and I was amazed. Alas...it did not matter. 


Step 1 of Sophia's rebellion was to start throwing stuff on the floor. 
Step 2 was to start bucking in the highchair like she was riding an arabian stallion.
Step 3 was to bang anything she could get her hands on as loudly as possible on the table and when moved away from the table on the high chair itself.
Step 4 was to start pulling up the table cloth as high above her head as she could. Would be cute if it didn't upset everything on her side of the table.....remember the toys, crayons, sippy cup etc...
Step 5 was to start the fake crying/whining routine
Step 6 was to kick and flail her legs willy nilly and hard.
Note: This all happened in under 5 minutes


Finally we thought ok, lets minimize the drama and let her out of the high chair and Bill will walk around with her until her food comes. 


THIS WAS ULTIMATELY OUR DOWNFALL.


Do not make this mistake. It was great at first. Everyone smiled at the oh so cute little girly toddling around the salad bar pointing and saying "dat" and her doting father who told her what "dat" was every time. She was quiet pleased with herself and was blowing kisses and waving to the servers. Everyone was charmed. 
Then the food came and we tried to put her back into the high chair.....


And the rebellion was won by a 31 inch person with the lungs of a full grown  opera singer. The battle was over in a mere 15 seconds. Parents were defeated, toddler was triumphant. 


As soon as the first wailing scream left our little "angel"s lips...we were done. Bill immediately took her out the doors and I sat deflated looking at our full plates of food whilst asking for to go boxes. Yes, I wanted to stay. Yes, I know this happens. But NO I was not going to be that family with that baby that won't stop crying in the restaurant. I hate those people and I refuse to join their ranks. 


So the babycenter email 2 days later made me feel much better. But we will be steering clear of any meltdown inducing situations for a little while :) 

Sing, Sing a Song, Sing Out Loud....

If you know me, you know I can't sing. If you know my husband, you know he is a worse singer than I am (sorry honey, its true.) You might also know that I taught elementary school for 9 years as well. I was the non-singing elementary school teacher. There was no Wheels on the Bus or London Bridge going down in my room. Why? Because I worked hard to earn the students respect and one out of tune rendition of Grand Old Flag would chuck it right out the window. I lip synced and hummed and it got the job done.
Then I had Sophia.
Now I sing about EVERYTHING. I have made up songs that I sing daily just to make it through the tedious necessary tasks that my toddler hates. I have a "brush your hair" song, a "eat your veggies" song, a "time for school" song. My personal favorite is the "put on your pajamas" song....which is actually the hokey pokey. "You put your left leg in, you put your left leg out". Whatever, I know its crazy. But it makes Sophia lay calmly while I put on her footie pajamas instead of squirm and kick like a spider monkey. So I sing.
I sing in public too. When I don't even realize I am doing it. Like in the grocery store when I want Sophia to make it 5 more minutes so I don't have to abandon my shopping cart full of stuff. I have been known to not only sing Wheels on the Cart (oh yeah I modified it to keep up with the times) but to do jazz hands and possibly some foot work to keep that little girl giggling through the line.
Not only do I sing, but my husband will sing as well. Ask him about Old MacDonald having goats and fish on his farm (yeah they don't make noises) but he rocked it out to get through an iffy bath time one night.
My point is...whatever you aren't before you have kids....isn't what you are after.
"If you're tired and you know it, chug coffee!" I'll leave you with that classic morning time ditty from my kitchen....

Rebel thinking.....what's so wrong with 1 and done?

Sophia is over a year old so that prompts many people to begin asking       "When are you going to have #2?".

First of all don't get me started on the "whats next" phenomenon. As soon as you get serious with someone its "when are you getting engaged" then "whens the wedding" then "when are you having a baby" then "when are you having another baby". It has always been a concept that bothered me. Why must there be a next thing? What is wrong with finding a stage in life you are most comfortable with and staying there? I mean look at the Duggars is there really a need for kid #20 or #49 ?
Anyway, I guess the general concensus is once you have one kid you must want to have another. But what if you don't? What if you want to be a party of 3?

I am an only child by birth (I have had a few step brothers and sisters along the way). Many only children feel like they were "jipped" by not having siblings because they missed out on a life experience as a result. I am not one of those only children. I am sure having a brother or sister is awesome. I have just never felt a loss or lacking in my life as a result of not having one.For whatever reason people think once your baby is 1, its time to start thinking about the next one.

Um, toddlers are exhausting. The game changes every day. What they can do, say, destroy is  ever changing and you just try to keep one step ahead at any given moment. Adding an infant to the mix seems like crazyness to me. More power to you if you want 2 under 2! You deserve warrior status, a key to the city, a lifetime supply of diapers and a new Keurig. No question.

But what is so wrong with not wanting that. If you say "one and done" people look at you like they must have heard you wrong. Now I have not fully committed to "one and done' but I have been very open with the possibility. I have also told most of my friends and family that I won't even entertain the possibility of #2 until Sophia is at least 2 years old. Clearly my one furiously twitching eyelid and clenching and unclenching of my fists when I say it has been convincing and no one has asked....yet.

I just wonder why I would have to defend this concept if that is, in fact what happens with my family?  Why is deciding to focus your parenting, effort and love on one precious child something that is so unexpected? Is it truly insane of me after a night where I was puked on three times, spent 3 hours sitting upright in a chair holding a miserable 22 lb baby, only to survive the following day by drinking an unhealthy amount of coffee and covering my whole body in Germ-X to think "I don't know if I  want to go through this again"? I think not.

Life Before Baby vs. Life After Baby

One could say that I enjoyed my twenties. One could also say on some nights I enjoyed them a little too much. I continued in this fashion until the ripe age of 30 when I found out (somewhat unexpectedly....) that I was pregnant. And if you ask me how this might have come about, I blame the Party Block's pool bar for opening early and serving me a stiff bloody mary or 3.....

Anyway, as soon as the stick said "pregnant", my current foot loose and fancy free lifestyle came to a screeching halt. No more cocktails, late nights or crazy antics. Unless you count Maalox, insomnia and hormones....

I ,being a truly delusional pregnant woman thought that once I had the baby, life would get back to "normal". Bahahaha! I can laugh at this now because its been 14 months and I know that normal is whole different can of worms.

Late Nights-

Before Baby- Out and about until the bar/restaurant/club closed down and kicked you out. Maybe a late night diner experience and then maybe even a late late night at a friends house. 

After Baby- You're baby won't go to sleep so you have been up all night in a rocking chair. Or you stay up past 10-10:30 watching True Blood and realize that early morning wake up is coming for you....

Date Night- 

Before Baby- Long leisurely evening doing whatever the hell you and your significant other feel like. Usually this is dinner, drinks, in the city or maybe an overnight to AC or OC or where ever. You have no responsibilities, its the weekend and you clocked out at 5 on Friday. 

After Baby- Date night revolves around bedtime, location and a babysitter. If you are lucky (like we are) your parents will come to your house for babysitting and that makes it easier. That way you don't have to pack up all the baby stuff, drive somewhere, unload it etc. 

Once the babysitter has arrived, get in the car and get where ever as quickly as possible. Get there and promptly both parents make sure their cell phones are turned on and up and placed prominently on the table "just in case". Enjoy dinner and maybe even get a drink....if you have an easy going babysitter. But then get home at a decent hour, relieve said babysitter and go to bed because morning comes quick. I distinctly remember that my 5 year anniversary dinner was at 4:30 so that we could get home before the 8 o'clock bedtime/feeding/disaster...

Sleeping In

Before Baby- I was a sleeping in master. If I was ever in a pageant, sleeping in would be my talent. I was able to block out all noise, light, alarm clocks etc and sleep in until the late hours of the morning on the weekends and right through classes back at SSU. As long as I got where I needed to be or needed to get done, done....sleeping in was a given and all other things worked around it. It was glorious. I now look back on my sleeping in  pre-baby lovingly as a special time in my life. 

After Baby- hahahaha! sleeping in....what the hell is that?

I get truly excited any day of the week when I wake up after 7 am. I am not in the habit of setting an alarm because I am a stay at home mom and also because I have a built in 32 inch tall 23 lb alarm in the other room who promptly begins waking up around 6:30 everyday.
Now I do have a very considerate husband who lets me sleep in on the weekends. Sounds great....except it does not mean the same thing. Sleeping in now means 8:30am, maybe. It also includes the door being shut, the bathroom fan running and a baby who is not crying or running around shrieking just because. If any of those things are not properly executed, there is no extra sleep.

Naps
Before Baby- Stayed out late last night? Don't have much going on today? Why not take a nap? On the couch or in bed. Doesn't matter. No alarm clocks necessary. Just sleep till you want to. Wake up, feel relaxed.
After Baby- "Naps" are something that only truly happen for babies. Yes they say "nap when your baby naps". Great concept except that is the only time you can get anything done. Like bathe or eat or clean. Yes you can occasionally catch a nap during the day but its more like the continuation of the sleep that you got in 2 hour spurts the night before. Eventually the nap schedule gets more defined and you can nap but by then you're  getting a decent amount of sleep and you use this time to execute household chores that are impossible with a mobile 1 year old around. Like vacuuming or unloading the dishwasher. Or you pound coffee to keep up with the whirlwind disaster that is a 1 year old.

All in all, EVERYTHING changes when you have a baby. Normal becomes getting up early, functioning with less sleep, running around trying to keep up with whatever new stage develops overnight and then doing it again the next day. Its exhausting and ever changing and so much cooler than you ever thought possible. 

Baby Talk = Speaking in Tongues

Sophia has started talking! Its so fun to see her yell Da-Da and run for the door when Bill comes home. She has named our dog "Delda" (aka Stella) and calls all dogs that now. She also has mastered the adorable and very repeatable "Uh-oh" and uses it mostly in context as she chucks things from her high chair.
Now when babies starts making the ba-ba-ba-ba, ma-ma-ma-ma, da-da-da-da-da sounds it doesn't  mean that they are talking. They start doing this at like 4 months and inevitably some mom or grandparent will say "So-in-So is SO advanced, they are already saying da-da". Um no they're not. They are babbling and simultaneously spitting but not actually talking.
Eventually they start using the same sound or "word" repeatedly and consistently to refer to something. These days Sophia has become extremely demonstrative and runs around and points at everything while naming it something in her language. Its adorable. But I am quite tired of being called da-da....
Anyway, most recently she has begun to ramble on in what I call the boogety language. I have been trying to get it on video for a while now and finally succeeded. So here you go....boogety boogety boogety :)
(it takes a minute to load...sorry!)

Its not the best example but I am sure that you can tell she is speaking extremely fast using her own language and clearly thinks we are having a conversation. 

Things They Don't Teach in Baby Class (Part 2)

Daylight Savings Time- You are probably wondering why this of all things is on my list. Well, I had no idea that DST was such a bitch until I had a baby. The "fall back" happened when Sophia was about 5 months old. We FINALLY had a schedule and a bedtime routine. She was consistently going to bed and waking up at the same time each day. Until Daylight Savings Time....
As a college kid I loved 'fall back' because the bars stayed open an extra hour and I got an extra hour of sleep. Well as a parent of an infant I hated it. I had no idea that when the clocks magically jumped back one hour that my sweet little baby would that that 5:30 am was 6:30 am and be up for the day. But it happened and it took a week of bedtime adjustment to get her to go to sleep at 7pm and wakeup at 7am instead of 5:30! After the fact one of my friends said "oh yeah, you should keep them up an extra hour so they wake up at the normal time". thanks friend.

Babies R Us - Have you ever been a Babies R US (BRU)? I had never bothered until I was pregnant. And when I finally went in...mind blown. It was like a Bed Bath & Beyond....but ALL baby stuff. Aisles and aisles of bottles, cups, pacifiers, and all things baby. I had never felt so out of my element. Don't worry guys, its not just you. Females however will immediately start scouring the internet, baby books and picking their mommy friend's brains about what is what. These days I am a BRU expert and can spend hours telling you the difference between Chicco and Graco infant car seats or Dr. Browns vs. Playtex Drop In bottles. I could spend hours and hundreds of dollars outfitting Sophia in new gear (fortunately for my bank account, there isn't one close) But man that first time visit is NO joke.

Bedtime Routines- Now although they don't touch on this in baby class, there are literally HUNDREDS of books about bedtime and baby sleeping. You can spend hours researching a how to get your baby to go to sleep, stay asleep, sleep long, sleep later, sleep period. Here is my advice....get a bedtime routine going when baby is about 3-4 months old. Do that same routine every night no matter where you are. Same time, same order, same thing...over and over again. Yes its tedious. Yes its usually too early. Yes you can become a slave to it. So why do it? Because now Sophia can go to bed anywhere if we use that routine. Its been tested in Frederick, Long Island, OBX, OC, grandparent sleepovers, etc. It works every time. Do it....you'll be glad you did.

Why There are Minivans

I am not a minivan driver. I plan to NEVER be a minivan driver. With that said I know lots of my friends have crossed over into minivan land recently and sadly admit that its their dream vehicle. And as we prepare for a 3 day weekend at the beach I must admit I understand why....

Babies = a TON of stuff

Now, I will say that this summer we are schlepping down a considerably smaller amount of baby gear than last summer. Sophia was only a few months old for our first beach trips last year so we took TWO SUVS. Yes for a family of 3 and a dog. 2 large vehicles. Why would we do this? Here's why:

PNP (Pack and Play- aka portable baby crib)
Stroller
Bathtub
Bumbo Seat
Toys
Play Mat
Diapers
Monitors
Clothes
Bottles
Formula
Baby Food
Bibs
Diaper Bag
Boppy (baby pillow for feedings)

Plus you know all of our stuff and a 70 lb dog. It was great. Plus once we got down there I obsessively worried about the sun. Because you can't put sunblock on babies under 6 months of age and they overheat easily. So much of my beach time was spent...inside.

This summer we are bringing 1 bag each, 1 baby toy bag, 1 stroller, 1 PNP, and 1 bag of misc. baby stuff. It will all fit in the cargo area.  Oh and of course Bill's surf board on the roof. Nice. (70 lb dog will not but thats what in laws are for, right?)