Today was a Good "Mom" Day

Have you ever had one of those days at work when you are firing on all cylinders? Everything is clicking and you feel great. Putting out fires with style and grace. Impressing coworkers with your brilliance. Getting well deserved praise from your boss. Aren't those days great? Well you have "good mom" days like that too. Minus the coworkers and praise...

Everyday as a mom is a good day. But lets be honest...some days I am a just a better mom than other days. I know that sounds bad but its the truth.

But some days I am able to do more,  be more patient and be the best mom I can be. I have no idea why one day I wake up like this instead of my normal mom self. As a normal mom, I am loving and caring. I change diapers, wipe snot, clean up "uh-ohs", kiss boo boos, you name it. I make breakfast, lunch and dinner. Plus snacks, run errands, clean and do household chores. I play silly games and read the same book over and over. 

So what makes a "good mom" day as opposed to every other day? I do it all with more grace and patience than normal. I am all smiles in the face of the worst tantrum(s). I do not flinch when hit or kicked while changing a Code Red diaper. I am immune to the "I don't wanna nap" tears (which only last 5 seconds after I leave the room). We go to story time, go the to the playground, take a walk on the trail, play in the backyard and have the yummiest snacks. Homemade grilled cheese sandwiches cut with cookie cutters for lunch and brand new homemade muffins for snacks. 

Who knows...maybe its just that I feel like I am doing a better job than normal. Maybe I really am doing a better job. Either way, when the end of the day comes and I am enjoying my mommy time (aka glass of wine)...I feel like maybe I deserve it a little more than normal. 

Parenthood: A Horcrux or The Giving Tree?

Its been a trying week or two here in the Malstrom household. My little tiny terrorist has been sick. A sick toddler equals a lot of grumpiness and not a lot of sleep...and the toddler can be tricky too.

Needless to say I have discussed the helplessness you feel as a parent when you can't make your little one feel better with several people and have some how had parenthood compared to the two following literary references.

1. A Horcrux

      Now if you are a Harry Potter nerd like me (like you have read the books WAY more than once, not just seen the movies)....you are well versed in the Horcrux concept. If not, here is my pedestrian rundown of it....
A horcrux in the magical world is a powerful dark magic where the magician splits his own soul and places it into another object. Therefore if the magician is killed, he can come back using the small part of his split soul. Voldemort being uber evil, did this seven times. It involves killing someone in the magical world to create a horcrux. Bad stuff.

So you are probably wondering how this concept was compared to parenting!? Well I was explaining to someone how when you hear your baby crying, as a mother you feel a physical ache or pain and you immediately want to fix it. I went on to say "Having a baby is like taking a part of yourself or your soul and putting it outside of your body and watching it walk around". Kinda like a horcrux.... Now, rest easy and know I did not kill anyone to have my baby (unless you count my previously carefree pre-baby self :). But having Sophia was like taking a part of myself and safely tucking it away in someone else. In her I will always have innocence, the ability to not make the same mistakes and feel an unconditional love I never thought possible. My soul outside of my body...thats Sophia, my little horcrux.

2. The Giving Tree

 Now I am pretty sure everyone knows "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein. It the touching story about a little boy and his tree. The tree loves the boy and as time passes the boy grows and no longer wants to swing in the trees branches. So the tree gives the boy his leaves, apples, branches and finally his trunk. And the boy grows old and sits on the stump. Its a touching tribute to love.

But that is not how it was presented to me recently. A much more jaded person than myself said "You know what parenting is like, its like being the effing Giving Tree". As the parent, you are the tree and the little boy is your child/children. You selflessly give and give and the little person takes and takes. In the end you are the stump.

Stump?

Well I am not that jaded, yet. But I do see that as the tree, you love the little boy so much that you want to give him whatever he needs to be happy. You put your child's needs/wants happily before yours because if they are happy, you are happy.

So after 2 weeks of minimal sleep. Hours of fever checking, snot wiping, medicine administering and tear wiping....am I the horcrux or the tree? 

Both I think and neither. But happy nonetheless. 

"Vacation"

So, we spent a week at the beach with a 16 month old...notice how I didn't call it vacation?
My idea of vacation includes quiet, relaxation, sleeping in, and adult beverages. Oh, we had plenty of adult beverages....just not the rest of it.

Apparently 16 month olds do not subscribe to the sleeping in model of vacation. Sophia shared a room with us on this vacation and we learned the following things:
1. Sophia is a very light sleeper.
2. Creaky floors, doors and beds will wake her up.
3. Sophia thinks 5:45 am is a wonderful wake up time on vacation even though she wakes up at 7am at home.
4. Sophia sings to herself in the morning when she wakes up. We knew this but learned that you can't sleep through it when its at the foot of your bed.
5. Saying "sshhh" only works until your 16 month old "shhhhs" you back!
6. Bill is a very good guy and got up most of the days when Sophia did letting me sleep in....although that was probably in his best interest, seeing as I am a nasty piece of business without the proper amount of sleep.

Once we downed several cups of coffee each day...it was off the beach. And in Sophia's case, off to the races! She LOVED the beach. The sand, the water, the sea gulls, all of it. She was non-stop for 2 hours at a time each morning and then again in the afternoon. It was awesome! And exhausting.Bill and I had to tag out every 20 minutes or so just to keep up.
Some babies are afraid of the ocean, not ours. She would run head first into waves breaking on the shore if we weren't there to grab her. She took a couple of headers into the waves and still wasn't deterred.
Sand became Sophia's new best friend and my worst enemy. She would roll in it, dig in it, pile it on herself, fling it this way and that. She was like a pig in well you know. I learned a valuable lesson from a friend....BABY POWDER! if you put a little one your hands or theirs and rub it in, sand falls off! Thank you Erica! Sophia also became accustomed to cold hose downs before we entered the house every day. And she learned what its like to go commando in her bathing suit :) I learned that any diaper, swim diaper or not is really just a glorified sand trap. So my daughter had the most adorable plumbers butt for most of the week :D
Sea gulls (aka DUCKS according to Sophia) became a huge attraction. Sophia would see one, point, yell "Duuss!" and go running. And I mean running. Her little chub legs were pumping and she didn't stop. Finally when the "duus" would get smart and fly away, I would have Sophia wave bye bye and back to the water we would go. This only happened 20-30 times each day.....

Midday we would have 1 to 1 and a half hours of vacation in the form of nap time. Sitting on the beach or on the deck, relaxing and doing nothing. It was awesome. Then the beach tornado would wake up and we would do it all over again!

I will say that Sophia learned a TON of new words at the beach: boat (boa), bird (which replaced duck), plane (pane), bye bye, fish (fissss), Parker her cousin(par-per), and many more. It was very fun :)

Bedtime would come and Mommy and Daddy would pretty much collapse in a deck chair with a cocktail or 4 and then drag ourselves quietly to bed so as not to wake the little beach bum. And the next day it started all over again!

Now we are home and back to sleeping in our own beds (heaven). Sophia is sleeping until 6:45....vast improvement. And I am wondering what our next beach "vacation" will be like.

Our Little Surfer Girl :)

Momma Said

There'd be days like this: WARNING...this is not a warm and fuzzy day in the life of a mom post. Its more of a FML post...don't feel compelled to read it.  Sorry bear with me...

If you know me, you know I'm an animal lover. I have 3 pets and would have the equivalent of Noah's Ark if I was allowed to (Bill is sane and won't let me). Anyway, I donate to every animal related cause possible and have to change the channel when sad animal commericals come on because I can't stand it.
So, today when I accidentally ran over a cat that ran out in front of my car...I pretty much lost my shit. I cried the whole way home and now realize that I will have to drive back by it tomorrow on my way to work. I am already dreading it and want to go back now to bury it but know that I will never recover if I try to do it and won't be able to even if I try. I am tearing up just thinking about it.

When I got home my lovely daughter decided that 16 month olds DO NOT need to nap and threw the first all out nap rebellion in recent months.
Then my brand new iPhone 4 basically shit the bed after a routine software update and I had to restore it to factory settings and then fortunately since i backed it up...reload it.

Shortly after that I was 5 seconds to late letting my dog outside while she was hunch backed and making "horking" noises to  then puked all over the kitchen floor and the area rug by the door she didn't make it out.  Sophia found this to be an amazing sight and got very upset that I wouldn't let her play in it and pitched a fit. While trying to keep her from the pile of puke, I stepped in it.

I am going running (its actually more like a fast shuffle but whatevs). Then I am drinking my dinner and going to bed.

Things I Don't Want to Forget

Sophia is growing and changing so quickly that I want to remember everything little thing. Here are some of the things she is doing right now that I love and don't ever want to forget...

Nap Time for Loveys - Sophia loves to take her stuffed animals, lay them on their bellies, cover them with a blanket and pat their backs so they go to sleep. Its adorable. She does this at every nap time and bed time and if she finds a rogue towel or blanket any time of the day.

Dancing - currently it is an arm swinging from side to side move that transitions into a full out twirl. She also throws in a hand shake here and there. The best part is the full smile and the giggles that go with it.

Reading- Sophia "reads" books constantly. Mostly its just turning the pages but the book is always right side up. She also talks like she is reading the book. Most recently she has been able to accurately and consistently point to objects on the pages of a book (i.e. Where is the ball? Where is the cat?)

Dog Watcher- Our poor dog Stella is Sophia's BFF (the reverse is not true however). Sophia finds Stella's collar and finds Stella to put it on her. This mainly means that she repeatedly puts it on Stella's nose and laughs. She also pets her and lays on her to give her hugs. Stella kindly tolerates all of it. She is a saint.

Cat Finder- New favorite past time...find the kitties. The kitties are not a fan of this game but it happens none the less. Poor Vinnie can't decide if he likes her attention or not...which usually means he is cornered and "patted" excessively and his tail becomes his own kitty leash.....

Wagoneer - Sophia has a small Little Tikes wagon that she loves to pull around our house. She puts Minnie and Mickey Mouse in it and tours the main floor aimlessly. She has a very determined and simultaneously proud expression on her face as she goes. As I am typing this she is doing this exact thing in the kitchen, only she has one of my flip flops in the wagon :)

Talking-
Here are the words Sophia currently says:
Dada
Mama- but only when she feels like it ::eye roll::
Delda- for Stella our dog
Ditty- Kitty
Duck
Bubble- pronounced Buh-bbllle for bubbles
Ball
Whats Dat- prounced wah dat? for everything and anything she points to all day long
Diaper- pronounced Die-da. Which she goes and get from a bin when she wants to be changed.
Book- pronounced buuh
Uh-oh - which she says very dramatically "Uh OOOOOOHHHH"
Hi
Yes
No
Nite Nite
Good Job- Pronounced jood jaa :)

Pointing to Objects- Ok so she points to everything so you can tell what it is which can get old but its so amazing to watch her absorb everything. She also points to things when you ask her where they are. She knows where all the words she can say are. And also where lights and doors are. Where upstairs and downstairs are. Where her eyes, nose, hair and belly are. And where the chinese lanterns (I call them lanterns) are hanging in her room.

Cheerleading- Sophia is her biggest fan! If she does something that she is proud of or that I say Good Job! to....she claps and says Yay!!

Taking Flight- When she is very intent on getting somewhere she puts her head down and her arms up and back behind her and gets up on her tippy toes and books. Its looks like she is trying to fly :)

Hugs & Kisses- When Sophia hugs you she lays her head on your collarbone and pats your arm at the same time. She gives kisses 2 ways. She blows kisses and say Muah. And she gives big sloppy open mouth kisses too :)

Beware the 4th of July

Beer, BBQing, friends, family, fireworks...whats not to love about the 4th of July? I always loved the mid summer holiday because there was so much to do and so many people to hang out with.

Then I had a baby....

Don't get me wrong... I still like seeing friends, family and the beer and the BBQing. But the fireworks....I hate them. I am sure as Sophia gets older and oohs and aahs at them, I will love them once more. But for the past 2 summers I have lived in fear that they will create a meltdown or even worse...wake her up at night.

The thing about fireworks is that every single redblooded male wants to drive up to PA and buy the biggest most obnoxious ones they can find, get tanked and set them off....5 feet from my house. No bueno.

And up here in Podunk, PA the locals think MIDNIGHT is a good time for the town fireworks show. Yes, seriously. And no I couldn't make this stuff up. So last night at 12:01 AM, they had a 20 minute long fireworks display that was being set off approximately 1/4 mile from my back door.

I'm moving.

The 15 Month Rebellion

I recently received my monthly "Your baby/toddler/kid is blank months old" email from babycenter.com....Here is what it said:

Doing errands around town is harder than ever with a pint-size explorer in tow. Being strapped down in a car seat or stroller is the last place your toddler wants to be: Expect an earful — usually accompanied by an arched back and flailing arms and legs — when it's time to buckle up.


You know what I thought.....Oh good its not just my child!!! Pint size explorer...more like pint sized terrorist! 


Up until recently, we could take Sophia anywhere and have no problems. Dinner, shopping, parties etc. She was happy to go on the adventure and hang out. Now she is 15 months old and apparently the party is over....


She wants NOTHING to do with strollers or high chairs. She will tolerate the car seat mostly because I toss a ton of toys in her lap and sing ridiculous songs to her until the car noises lull her to sleep. 


Bill and I took her out to dinner the other night. Nothing new, we do it every couple of weeks (yes I actually cook 5-7 nights a week...even I am amazed). Set up the high chair, placemat, toys, crayons, sippy cup and snacks and we thought we were good to go. WRONG. oh so wrong. Sophia's contentment lasted about 15 minutes. And we even had a intelligent server who asked what we wanted for her before we even ordered so it would be out long before our food. This was a first and I was amazed. Alas...it did not matter. 


Step 1 of Sophia's rebellion was to start throwing stuff on the floor. 
Step 2 was to start bucking in the highchair like she was riding an arabian stallion.
Step 3 was to bang anything she could get her hands on as loudly as possible on the table and when moved away from the table on the high chair itself.
Step 4 was to start pulling up the table cloth as high above her head as she could. Would be cute if it didn't upset everything on her side of the table.....remember the toys, crayons, sippy cup etc...
Step 5 was to start the fake crying/whining routine
Step 6 was to kick and flail her legs willy nilly and hard.
Note: This all happened in under 5 minutes


Finally we thought ok, lets minimize the drama and let her out of the high chair and Bill will walk around with her until her food comes. 


THIS WAS ULTIMATELY OUR DOWNFALL.


Do not make this mistake. It was great at first. Everyone smiled at the oh so cute little girly toddling around the salad bar pointing and saying "dat" and her doting father who told her what "dat" was every time. She was quiet pleased with herself and was blowing kisses and waving to the servers. Everyone was charmed. 
Then the food came and we tried to put her back into the high chair.....


And the rebellion was won by a 31 inch person with the lungs of a full grown  opera singer. The battle was over in a mere 15 seconds. Parents were defeated, toddler was triumphant. 


As soon as the first wailing scream left our little "angel"s lips...we were done. Bill immediately took her out the doors and I sat deflated looking at our full plates of food whilst asking for to go boxes. Yes, I wanted to stay. Yes, I know this happens. But NO I was not going to be that family with that baby that won't stop crying in the restaurant. I hate those people and I refuse to join their ranks. 


So the babycenter email 2 days later made me feel much better. But we will be steering clear of any meltdown inducing situations for a little while :)