The truth is....its EASY. So easy to fall off the wagon. Its EASY eating food other people prepare. Its EASY to not have to make every morsel that goes in your mouth. Saying I will just have this one treat..." I earned it". Drive thrus are easy. Take out is easy. And its SO easy to undo all the hard work and clean eating you did in one month in a matter of a week or two.
It started out slowly. I didn't go buck wild and drive from Starbucks to Taco Bell to Five Guys and get down and dirty. I had a 'cheat meal" one day and then happy hour a few days later. Then I started packing up my house to move and slowly all my cooking stuff was in boxes so it was EASIER to order take out....And then the downward spiral really took off. Take out, Starbucks for "energy" when I was tired, no sleep, not eating a good meal to start my day...etc etc etc.
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| This was NOT me. But I can identify with the idea |
So this is a short list of how things got going....
1. Thanksgiving (oh mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie)
2. We packed up our entire house.
3. We moved.( I lived off Starbucks lattes for #2 and 3 and 4)
4. We unpacked an entire house.
5. Christmas (why do people give so many cookies?)
Now I didn't eat terribly this whole time. But overall I certainly wasn't eating as cleanly as I could or know I actually want to. I would eat poorly for a day or so and then literally crave salads. I need to refine my ability to eat clean 80% of the time and indulge 20% of the time. Why do I (and a lot of women I think) do the following...."Well I missed breakfast because I was too busy trying to get out the door. So now I will have a Starbucks breakfast sandwich"...fast forward 3 hours "Well I already had that breakfast sandwich so now my clean eating for the day is totally shot" WHAT??? Why does my brain do this? Why don't I say "well you had that breakfast sandwich so you should get back on track and eat a SALAD." Ugh. I want to smack myself.
And then the guilt of the bad eating becomes a cycle of feeling bad and eating some kind of comfort food to feel better. Its really ridiculous. And the only person I have to blame is me. Not the moving or the packing or the holidays. JUST ME.
Fortunately I have crossfit to keep me somewhat in check. Try going back to a work out after a week or so off due to moving and unpacking and all the while eating take out because all your food and cooking stuff is in transit or in boxes. That first WOD back was a misery. A sweaty, ugly, pathetic misery. I finished last by a large margin and I totally deserved it. Oh and people coming up to me and saying "oh YOU are the Whole 30 girl! I saw your post! You look great". :( oh the GUILT! And I do still look better than before I started but that damn tummy pudge is coming right back....
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| Here is me in that wod...looks like I'm doing well. But notice NO ONE else is working out.... Yeah because I was the last one :( Oh reality. |
So slowly but surely I am getting back on track. I have started cooking again at home. I will take the time to prep easy, clean snacks and meals. I have stopped going to Starbucks every day. (and even when I go I have figured out how to order a drink I like with significantly less sugar/syrup in it as well)
Its New Years Resolutions time again...I don't make them. I stopped a few years ago because I didn't follow through and then I would feel bad which is totally counterproductive to the actual purpose of them. I now make GOALS. I type them up and check back every month or so to see how I'm doing. I hit several of my 2013 goals this year. And I succeeded on a few more things I didn't even have as goals (running 5 miles, toes to bar, Whole 30). So one of my goals this year is to continue to learn how to be healthy and have a healthy relationship with food. Its probably going to be a goal on my list every year.
Found this proverb...pretty fitting for this and all things. Might be this years mantra :)
