The Truth About Falling Off the Clean Eating Wagon

Here I am blogging again after a brief hiatus. I wish I could say that I have been a clean eating machine since my Whole 30 success. But the truth is I haven't....I know the SACRILEGE!! After all my great results and positive encouragement to others and here I am struggling to get back on track.

The truth is....its EASY. So easy to fall off the wagon. Its EASY eating food other people prepare. Its EASY to not have to make every morsel that goes in your mouth. Saying I will just have this one treat..." I earned it". Drive thrus are easy. Take out is easy. And its SO easy to undo all the hard work and clean eating you did in one month in a matter of a week or two. 

It started out slowly. I didn't go buck wild and drive from Starbucks to Taco Bell to Five Guys and get down and dirty. I had a 'cheat meal" one day and then happy hour a few days later. Then I started packing up my house to move and slowly all my cooking stuff was in boxes so it was EASIER to order take out....And then the downward spiral really took off. Take out, Starbucks for "energy" when I was tired, no sleep, not eating a good meal to start my day...etc etc etc. 

This was NOT me. But I can identify with the idea

So this is a short list of how things got going....

1. Thanksgiving (oh mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie)

2. We packed up our entire house. 

3. We moved.( I lived off Starbucks lattes for #2 and 3 and 4)

4. We unpacked an entire house. 

5. Christmas (why do people give so many cookies?)

Now I didn't eat terribly this whole time. But overall I certainly wasn't eating as cleanly as I could or know I actually want to. I would eat poorly for a day or so and then literally crave salads. I need to refine my ability to eat clean 80% of the time and indulge 20% of the time. Why do I (and a lot of women I think) do the following...."Well I missed breakfast because I was too busy trying to get out the door. So now I will have a Starbucks breakfast sandwich"...fast forward 3 hours "Well I already had that breakfast sandwich so now my clean eating for the day is totally shot" WHAT??? Why does my brain do this? Why don't I say "well you had that breakfast sandwich so you should get back on track and eat a SALAD." Ugh. I want to smack myself. 

And then the guilt of the bad eating becomes a cycle of feeling bad and eating some kind of comfort food to feel better. Its really ridiculous. And the only person I have to blame is me. Not the moving or the packing or the holidays. JUST ME.

Fortunately I have crossfit to keep me somewhat in check. Try going back to a work out after a week or so off due to moving and unpacking and all the while eating take out because all your food and cooking stuff is in transit or in boxes. That first WOD back was a misery. A sweaty, ugly, pathetic misery. I finished last by a large margin and I totally deserved it. Oh and people coming up to me and saying "oh YOU are the Whole 30 girl! I saw your post! You look great". :( oh the GUILT! And I do still look better than before I started but that damn tummy pudge is coming right back....

Here is me in that wod...looks like I'm doing well.
But notice NO ONE else is working out....
Yeah because I was the last one :( Oh reality.

So slowly but surely I am getting back on track. I have started cooking again at home. I will take the time to prep easy, clean snacks and meals. I have stopped going to Starbucks every day. (and even when I go I have figured out how to order a drink I like with significantly less sugar/syrup in it as well) 

Its New Years Resolutions time again...I don't make them. I stopped a few years ago because I didn't follow through and then I would feel bad which is totally counterproductive to the actual purpose of them. I now make GOALS. I type them up and check back every month or so to see how I'm doing. I hit several of my 2013 goals this year. And I succeeded on a few more things I didn't even have as goals (running 5 miles, toes to bar, Whole 30). So one of my goals this year is to continue to learn how to be healthy and have a healthy relationship with food. Its probably going to be a goal on my list every year.

Found this proverb...pretty fitting for this and all things. Might be this years mantra :)

The Before, The After and Surviving Whole 30

Wholy Crap! I did it. I completed Whole 30. I did not cheat. I did not succumb to temptation. I killed it. It was the longest 30 days of my life.

Ok maybe that is a slight exaggeration but I can tell you that 30 days is a lot longer than you think. I can also say that you can totally change your relationship with food in 30 days, no question. I did.

So I have taken pictures and measurements to show my progress from Day 1 to Day 30 and I will share those (AHHHH) at the end of this post.(And then I will shut myself in the closet because the idea of sharing pictures of me in a sports bra and spandex is terrifying...) But I have also learned a ton of things about me, food and my relationship with it. From big revelations to simple preferences, I learned a lot.
Such as....

1. I do not like ground chicken. Ground beef, ground turkey, ground pork all good. Ground chicken, no thanks.

2. I can in fact go through extremely stressful situations and not turn to food to make me feel better. During Whole 30, we basically sold our home with an extremely short settlement date and had/did not find a home we wanted to buy in that time. I literally feared we would be homeless at the end of 45 days. I wanted wine. I needed WINE. I also wanted chocolate and comfort foods to make me feel better. Instead I drank water and ate nuts. Yup. And I was fine. I actually slept better as a result. Go figure. (oh and we won't be homeless either ;)

3. Previous to Whole 30 I was an adamant HATER of lemons and limes. Basically all citrus fruit. Don't you dare put a lemon on the side of my ice water. No, I do not want lime on my mixed alcoholic beverage. I do not want a lemon vinaigrette or lime cilantro marinade. No thank you. No way. No how. And then all I could drink was water. Water is boring. Its refreshing. Its great for you. But it gets old. One day I was strangely compelled to cut lemon slices and put them in my water. I still don't know why. And then I drank it. And I liked it. What was happening to me? Who knows but now I drink water with lemon in it by choice. This has truly shocked people who know me well. Its such a small thing but a true indicator that my taste buds actually changed in 30 days.

I like this? Really? 

4. Sugar is in EVERYTHING. I know I have stated this in previous blog posts but I am still amazed by it. I challenge you to look at all the things in your pantry and refrigerator that you think DON'T have sugar in them. They probably do. And it may not just say "sugar" but if it says sugar, syrup, dextrose, sucrose, arbitrol,etc etc....its sugar. Check out this link to all the names of sugar in food...http://whole9life.com/book/ISWF-Sugar.pdf 

5. I started eating only because I was hungry. Not because I was bored or there was food available. Its less tempting to shove your face with food when the food is salad or nuts. Maybe thats just me but thats how I felt.

6. I made it through an entire Halloween and Halloween party without eating a single solitary piece of candy. And I didn't even buy the crappy candy no one wants. I bought Twix, Kit Kats and Snickers. (I will not be the house with the crappy candy). I did wait until the day of Halloween to buy it but I still didn't eat any or any of the candy my daughter brought home after trick or treating. It was easy. I just didn't eat it. Crazy, right? Yeah but it was that simple.

7. I really have a true love for Starbucks coffee drinks. I thought about them every day. It was the only thing that I could not kick the craving for. I will drink them again but have realized that I need to limit them and find ones that are low in sugar. I will start treating them as a TREAT not a daily requirement for living.

8. When I really REALLY wanted to cheat I just told myself I could do it. I could eat something else. I could make the right choice. I just believed that I was strong enough. And I was. It was amazing. I am truly proud of my perseverance  and dedication.

One of my favorite quotes with a whole new meaning. 

9. I am stronger than I think I am. Both mentally and physically. As a personal aside... I dropped TWO BANDS in assisted pull ups during Whole 30. I can now do red band pull ups!! This is a big deal for me :) Could be a combo of increased strength and weight lost but either way I am one step closer to unassisted pull ups which is a MAJOR goal of mine. And I also ran 4.8 miles at one time during Whole 30 as well. I have never ran farther than 3.1 miles and never wanted to. I was in a competition and one of the wods was a 4.8 mile run. I came in dead last. Didn't care! I ran the whole damn thing! I am still proud of that. 

10. Fueling yourself properly before and after workouts is really important. It was challenging on Whole 30 because there are no protein shakes. But it wasn't impossible. I became very aware of how the proteins and fats I needed to consume before working out and how dead I felt if I didn't. 

11. I can actually beat my own genetics with clean eating. I am a 35 year old female with hypothyroidism and challenging genetics. I am fighting nature, science and age. It is insanely easy for me to gain weight. And extremely hard for me to lose it. I use this concept as a crutch. Well in 30 days my body completely changed so it is totally possible to beat all of the above factors! 

Ok here they are...The pictures (of me in a sports bra and spandex shorts Ahhhhhhh) and the measurements. Please know that it has taken all of the courage in my being to put these pictures out there. I am still a work in progress but I felt I needed to share so you could see what can be accomplished in 30 days. Please be kind.

Measurements (# of inches lost)
Waist: 4 inches
Lower abdomen: 3 inches
Thigh: 2 inches
Bicep: 1.5 inches
Ribcage: 1.5 inches
TOTAL: 12 inches!! I lost a FOOT :)
Weight- If you are wondering how much weight I lost...I have no idea. I don't weigh myself on principle because it makes me crazy focussing on a number. My best guess based on my measurements and the way none of my clothes fit is that I lost 10 to 15 lbs.  

And there you have it. Me and my measurements. For everyone to see...this may have been a bad idea but its too late now. I decided to share this very personal information because I really think its important for people, especially women, to see what can be done in 30 days with diet and exercise. I ate real food. I cooked it all myself. I worked out 3-4 days a week. I drank a lot of water. Thats it. Thats all I did. I didn't do a crazy cabbage soup diet or take Hydroxy cut. I just ate SUPER healthy and exercised. I am just a 35 year old mom who made the decision to commit to this for 30 days. I think anyone can do this if they really want to.

So now what....

Well I have decided to keep eating like this as much as possible. I will be incorporating some non Whole 30 things back into my diet but I won't be going hog wild. I don't plan to belly up at an all-you-can-eat pasta buffet or stick my head under a Sweet Frog yogurt dispenser. I do plan to enjoy a nice meal out this weekend and have a drink or two at happy hour. But most days I will keep eating this clean because it works and honestly I feel really good. And at the end of the day thats what this was really about. 

Pretty Sure Iced Vanilla Lattes are a Gateway Drug

Day 13 in the Whole 30 challenge and I can honestly say I feel pretty good and I have definitely adjusted to this way of eating. Except for one thing. And of all the things that I was expecting to miss this is the one I thought wouldn't be that big of a deal....

Grande Iced Vanilla Lattes from Starbucks. 

I wish I could drink the screen....

Just typing that out made me want to get in my car and drive directly to my nearest Starbucks and chug one down. Forget the straw I will just mainline it.

My question is WHY of all things is this the one that I just can't stop thinking about. I have a pantry full of snacks and treats and I easily bypass them several times daily. But I literally wake up thinking of these Lattes. 

I started really thinking about why this is and I have come to a few conclusions:

1. Starbucks puts crack in these. Thats not syrup. Its liquid crack. 

2. I have turned my latte habit into something that is a part of my daily routine. Surprisingly my little podunk town has a not only a Starbucks but one with a drive thru no less. I discovered this when my daughter was a baby and would fall asleep in the car and there was NO WAY I was waking her up. So I would drive around and get a coffee and play Angry Birds in my car. That was 3 years ago. And yet, here I am 3 years later and I still go to that drive thru several times a week. Its right by the grocery store! It has a drive thru! What could be easier? So accessible....

3. Coffee. That one is simple. I love it. I love it with a little creamer and a little sweetner (in my non Whole 30 life I prefer stevia for the record). I drink it habitually every morning and then whenever the opportunity for Starbucks arrives. I can literally subsist on these lattes and forego food. Truth. 

4. Sugar. Yup. I am not a "sweets" person. I prefer french fries or chips. Something salty. But I realized that is because I get all the sugar I need from those damn lattes. I looked it up. 28g in one 16 oz drink. Sad face. 

So there it is. I am addicted to Starbucks. Its fast. Its easy. You can find it on any corner. It makes me feel good. It costs way too much. I need it. I crave it....is there a Starbucks recovery support group?