Birth Story

Ok, Sophia is asleep in her swing and the coffee is kicking in...so I thought I would jot down my birth story.

I was scheduled for an induction on Thursday (4/8) at 6am. I was convinced that the only way I was having a baby was if they induced me. I had plans for the next day...running errands, bringing my dad his birthday present on his birthday, going out for a "Last Supper" at BoneFish with Bill. So, Bill and I settled in for a mellow night and watched LOST.
Around 10 o'clock, we went to bed. And I started feeling what turned out to be contractions. I wasn't convinced however so I tried to sleep. I quickly realized that I wasn't comfortable enough to sleep but I tried to rest. I had a handy dandy Iphone app to track my contractions (yes there is an app for that). I started pushing the button and realized that my contractions were on a time table around 12 minutes apart. I went into the 2nd bedroom so I didn't wake Bill up, because I felt the urge to walk around during each contraction. By around midnight, the contractions were about 7 minutes apart. So, I woke BIll up and put him on alert. By 2:30am I was not a happy camper. The contractions were coming every 3 minutes but were only 3o seconds long. I woke Bill up and got in the shower. Bill called the doctor and we were instructed to head into the hospital. Holy Crap...this was it.
I don't remember much of the car ride in. I was having contractions every 3 minutes so I was more focussed on those than the actual trip. I was just hoping that I would be dilated enough to get an epidural when I got to the hospital.
We checked in around 3:30 am. They checked me and I was 4cm and 80% effaced! I immediately requested an epidural (before we even got into our room LOL). The epidural was put in and I was feeling great! I couldn't feel a thing. I got a kick out of watching the contraction monitor and realizing that I was having a contraction but couldn't feel it ;). Bill left the room with the nurse to get me some ice chips and my water broke! The nurse was very surprised and so was I.
About and hour and a half later, I started to actually feel some of my contractions again, which I wasn't thrilled with. They checked me and said I was 100% effaced and 6cm dilated. This was going pretty quickly. The doctor ok-ed me for another dose of the epidural since I was having "break through" pain. I was so excited to not feel anything again!
Sadly, that was not to be. I waited 15 minutes...still in pain. 30 minutes... in worse pain. 45 minutes...worse pain. Back in comes the doctor, who checks me and finds that I am at 9 cm already! The anesthesiologist is called back in and tells me that the epidural can't keep up with the progression of my labor. AKA- I am going to have to do this without pain meds. This was NOT my plan. I don't know if I would have been able to do it without Bill there with me. He was there by my side the whole way. He fed me ice chips, encouraged me, held my hand, held my leg up, and told me it would be ok. He was my sanity.
Needless to say the next few hours were miserable. By 7 am, I was fully dilated. Bill had called our parents and told them to be at the hospital by 9am. The nurse intimated that the baby might even arrive earlier!
So, I started pushing...without an epidural. And continued to push forever. I will say the actually pushing didn't hurt. It was the only thing that took away the contraction pain. The contractions were coming one after another , every minute or so. I kept pushing. And pushing. And pushing. At some point I told the doctor there was no way I could do this. She told me I could and I kept pushing. I pushed until I didn't even have the energy to pick up my own legs. I was exhausted.
At the 2 hour and 30 minute mark, the doctor stopped me. She very calmly told me that although I was doing everything right, the baby wasn't progressing any further down the birth canal. She said she didn't think I was going to be able to push Sophia out and suggested that I have a C section. Not my ideal outcome but at this point I just wanted the pain to stop and the baby out. I agreed and off to the OR we went.
I had to get a spinal tap because they were afraid that my epidural wasn't effective enough. This was probably one of the worst parts. Not because the spinal tap hurt but because I was still having contractions every minute, without pain meds, and I had to keep completely still for the spinal tap to be administered. Once I made it through that, I was pain free in under 3 minutes. It was glorious.
I don't remember much just them prepping me. And telling me I would feel some pressure. BIll was right next to me. And then all of a sudden we heard her cry! And we cried.
And I was a mom. At 10:38 a.m. on April 7th, 2010 (my dad's birthday) Sophia Jane Malstrom was born weighing in at 8 lbs 9.6 oz and 20 1/2 inches long.

Love doesn't even begin to describe it. 

I'm a Mom!!!

At some point I will sit down and type out my whole birth story. It was such a blur, which is good since the epidural couldn't keep up (ouch). But right now, I just want to jot down my thoughts on my first week of "motherhood".

• This is by far the biggest and most wonderful thing I have ever done.
• I could spend hours staring at Sophia
• Breastfeeding is challenging. It takes a lot out of you. Not giving up.
• The Halo Sleep Sack may have saved Bill and I from insanity. 
• 2 - 3 hours of sleep a few times a night is bearable ...
• My poor nipples will never be the same.... think power sander.
• Changing diapers is SO not a big deal. Can't believe I was worried about it. 
• I get up several times a night just to check that she is breathing. 
• I just want to kiss her little cheeks all day long.
• The best part of my day is right after any feeding when Sophia falls asleep snuggled right up on my chest.
• Stella is like a second mommy. She gets anxious and whines if Sophia is crying. Its very cute. She also may think the bassinet is a cage and does not like it when we put Sophia down in it.
• I am already sad that Sophia is going to get bigger. I want her to stay this little forever. 
• Bill is an amazing father. Just like I knew he would be. 
• Its crazy how quickly your stomach starts to flatten out. C section swelling is prolonging it but its pretty nuts when you can suddenly see your feet.
• My whole day is totally dictated by what Sophia needs. And I am fine with it :)
• I am so glad that I read a bunch of baby books before she came. They are so helpful and I would have no time for them now. 
• I don't even mind waking up at 1 and 3 am to feed her. Its nice to be so close to her. 
• You really do fall in love like you never thought possible.

expired

Today I am 40 weeks and 3 days pregnant. In non-pregnant person terms that means I am overdue. Up until this morning, I was fine with being overdue. I didn't want to have a baby on April Fool's Day, so I was hoping  to be overdue. I was an idiot.
Being pregnant is not easy. I have been minimally dramatic about it (in my opinion). I have also been very lucky in regards to most pregnancies. I think my luck has run out and now I am destined to be pregnant forever. Sophia may celebrate her 5th birthday in my belly. Who knows.
I do know that I am over it. I have long endured this big, uncomfortable, unattractive body. The overly swollen hands and feet. The enormous boobs. The belly. The god damn comments from the oh so supportive people I worked with.
I am not a patient person by nature. I am like things to happen when I want them to, how I want them to. Pregnancy does not subscribe to my way of thinking.
So in conclusion the wonderment is gone. The anticipation is painful. The expiration date on my pregnancy has passed and I am still pregnant.

Sick + Pregnant = fail

Pregnancy is no walk in the park. It has its wonderful moments but all in all its tough on your body. I have done pretty well so far. No major issues. I try to keep the whining to a minimum. However, being sick whilst pregnant sucks. No silver lining. It just plain sucks.
Take for example my current situation. I have a cold. Nothing too major, just enough of a cold to make me miserable. Has been trying to rear its ugly head for the past week or so I think but I have been resting and staying hydrated to combat it. Well, preventative measures be damned that cold was gonna come. Its here and I hate it.
My kind, sweet Bill went out and bought me Sudafed because its like one of 3 drugs I can take without harming Sophia. So I take it and then realize its Sudafed PE. So what? So PE is apparently not approved for baby. So now I am wondering if I have done any damage with my one dose (all research says no). So Bill goes out again for plain old Sudafed and we find out that you can't buy it OTC. Why? GD meth heads. So I suffered through last night only to wake up feeling worse this morning, only having to wait until 9 to go buy my perfectly legal drugs from the pharmacist. This Sudafed better be the best drug ever.
End rant.

Fall down, go boom.

I am not a naturally clumsy person. I would not consider myself graceful but I typically have an appropriate amount of control over my limbs. Just another thing I no longer enjoy. Today I took Stella on a walk. I thought "Hey I am being a good pregnant person. Getting some fresh air, getting some exercise. Go me!' It was a wonderful idea in theory. Unfortunately it ended with me, at the top of my basement stairs crying.
How does this happen? I fell.
Not a serious fall. Just enough to scrape my knee and bruise my hand. Belly/Sophia were safe. I shielded them by falling on said hand and knee. I then walked home, pity crying half way. Then I got over it and was just pissed. Got all the way home, calmly called out to Bill to tell him what happened and immediately started crying again. Gotta love the hormones. Spent the next half hour on the couch with ice packs, sniffling away my dignity. But thats what happens when you fall down, go boom.

Insomniaaaaaaah

Not being able to sleep at night seems like nothing but a cruel joke when you are pregnant. You are exhausted all day long and then when its finally "time" to be asleep everything keeps you awake: congestion, discomfort, baby kicking, headache, muscle pain, snoring, you name it. I am currently awake at 2:07 a.m. after only 1 hour and 20 minutes of sleep. I have to get up for work in 4 hours. Tonight I could not fall asleep because I was sneezing and blowing my nose until 11:45 at night. Really? Then was woken up as a result of my own snoring. Now I am wide awake and ready to go. Baby is too because she is kicking away. So how come when I finally fall asleep tonight and wake up in the morning I will be exhausted all over again when I am wide awake now? My students are just going to have to start coming to school at 2 am.

Slowing My Roll

I have a T shirt that has a limo on it and it says "this is how I roll". These days I need a new maternity shirt that shows a turtle and says the same thing. The 7th month hit and its like I am moving in slow motion at all times. I walk at one speed only....waddle. Getting dressed is a slow process as well. I have become very good at lasso-ing article of clothing around my feet to get them on, but its time consuming. Getting in and out of bed, chair, couches, etc takes a great deal of effort and also not done quickly. Completing regular tasks  have become lengthy trials of patience and sheer mental acuity. Sadly at this point I have little of either. I have never been a person with a great deal of patience, but usually my mind was sharp enough to get me through things quickly...no more. Forming sentences and doing basic 4th grade math proves difficult these days making simple chores impossible.  I still have 3 months left....how am I possibly going to  be a productive human being ?

The Waddle

Apparently I waddle. I know this because all the sweet non-pregnant women that I work with have been telling me....at least one each day this week. They think this is cute, they think "Aw the pregnant girl is waddling, how sweet". I think great I look like a duck or a penguin or worse a moose that waddles.
I know the physicality of why I am waddling. My doctor even reassured me that this is normal. But for me the appearance of the waddle is no good. It just makes me feel huge and ridiculous. Why can I no longer walk like a normal human being? I get up and go to work and cook dinner (sometimes) and do everything else that a normal person does. Why is it necessary for my walk to evolve into a waddle. I am sorry, it is not cute. It is not sweet. It is a waddle.