The Truth About Falling Off the Clean Eating Wagon

Here I am blogging again after a brief hiatus. I wish I could say that I have been a clean eating machine since my Whole 30 success. But the truth is I haven't....I know the SACRILEGE!! After all my great results and positive encouragement to others and here I am struggling to get back on track.

The truth is....its EASY. So easy to fall off the wagon. Its EASY eating food other people prepare. Its EASY to not have to make every morsel that goes in your mouth. Saying I will just have this one treat..." I earned it". Drive thrus are easy. Take out is easy. And its SO easy to undo all the hard work and clean eating you did in one month in a matter of a week or two. 

It started out slowly. I didn't go buck wild and drive from Starbucks to Taco Bell to Five Guys and get down and dirty. I had a 'cheat meal" one day and then happy hour a few days later. Then I started packing up my house to move and slowly all my cooking stuff was in boxes so it was EASIER to order take out....And then the downward spiral really took off. Take out, Starbucks for "energy" when I was tired, no sleep, not eating a good meal to start my day...etc etc etc. 

This was NOT me. But I can identify with the idea

So this is a short list of how things got going....

1. Thanksgiving (oh mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie)

2. We packed up our entire house. 

3. We moved.( I lived off Starbucks lattes for #2 and 3 and 4)

4. We unpacked an entire house. 

5. Christmas (why do people give so many cookies?)

Now I didn't eat terribly this whole time. But overall I certainly wasn't eating as cleanly as I could or know I actually want to. I would eat poorly for a day or so and then literally crave salads. I need to refine my ability to eat clean 80% of the time and indulge 20% of the time. Why do I (and a lot of women I think) do the following...."Well I missed breakfast because I was too busy trying to get out the door. So now I will have a Starbucks breakfast sandwich"...fast forward 3 hours "Well I already had that breakfast sandwich so now my clean eating for the day is totally shot" WHAT??? Why does my brain do this? Why don't I say "well you had that breakfast sandwich so you should get back on track and eat a SALAD." Ugh. I want to smack myself. 

And then the guilt of the bad eating becomes a cycle of feeling bad and eating some kind of comfort food to feel better. Its really ridiculous. And the only person I have to blame is me. Not the moving or the packing or the holidays. JUST ME.

Fortunately I have crossfit to keep me somewhat in check. Try going back to a work out after a week or so off due to moving and unpacking and all the while eating take out because all your food and cooking stuff is in transit or in boxes. That first WOD back was a misery. A sweaty, ugly, pathetic misery. I finished last by a large margin and I totally deserved it. Oh and people coming up to me and saying "oh YOU are the Whole 30 girl! I saw your post! You look great". :( oh the GUILT! And I do still look better than before I started but that damn tummy pudge is coming right back....

Here is me in that wod...looks like I'm doing well.
But notice NO ONE else is working out....
Yeah because I was the last one :( Oh reality.

So slowly but surely I am getting back on track. I have started cooking again at home. I will take the time to prep easy, clean snacks and meals. I have stopped going to Starbucks every day. (and even when I go I have figured out how to order a drink I like with significantly less sugar/syrup in it as well) 

Its New Years Resolutions time again...I don't make them. I stopped a few years ago because I didn't follow through and then I would feel bad which is totally counterproductive to the actual purpose of them. I now make GOALS. I type them up and check back every month or so to see how I'm doing. I hit several of my 2013 goals this year. And I succeeded on a few more things I didn't even have as goals (running 5 miles, toes to bar, Whole 30). So one of my goals this year is to continue to learn how to be healthy and have a healthy relationship with food. Its probably going to be a goal on my list every year.

Found this proverb...pretty fitting for this and all things. Might be this years mantra :)

C is for Community...

Gimme a C, Gimme a R, Gimme a OSSFIT! (Ok I was never a cheerleader) Whats that spell...CROSSFIT. But lets focus on the C shall we....

C is for Community.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think going to Crossfit over a year ago would impact my life so greatly. But not in reps or PRs or weight lost. For me the biggest impact is the community. The many awesome people I now call my friends.

I would say that I am perceived by others as outgoing, fun and personable. (Just go with it.... ;) I thrive in social settings and love to interact and meet new people. After having my daughter 3 years ago, I became a stay at home mom. I left the teaching profession after almost 10 years and settled in to mom life. And I was so lonely.

A lot of people don't talk about how sometimes isolating being a stay at home mom can be. And maybe its not for everyone but it was for me. Eventually I went back to work part time but I still had little interaction with many people and because we moved farther away not even with my friends.

I started at Titan Crossfit to battle my post baby body (that battle is more like a war that I am still waging a year later). I had no idea that anything would change in my life other than my pants size. I didn't know that the people who I at first envied for their ability to do pull ups or run when I could barely jog would become my friends. Good friends. Friends who constantly push me to achieve and try harder. Friends who keep the pessimist in me feeling positive. Friends who don't let me give up. Friends who constantly inspire, strengthen and support me.

I don't have a day that goes by where I don't talk to or text with many of my Titan friends. Yes mostly with things like "Whats the WOD??" or "I am so SORE" or "I hate running"....but also about our lives. These people have become like family to me. I look forward to going to Titan Crossfit not just to see if I can survive the WOD but to check in with my friends. To share stories, talk trash, high five and laugh.

Crossfit athletes are such a diverse group. Fire fighters, police officers, accountants, stay at home moms, college kids, trainers, nurses, musicians etc... And on paper I may have little in common with all of these people. And what started as just having Crossfit in common has grown into so much more. Happy hours, birthday celebrations, beach weekends, destination weddings, house warmings, laughs, smiles and friendships.

So when people ask me "how's that Crossfit thing going?" I smile. I answer and explain how much better I feel and how empowering being able to lift heavy weight as a female is. But to me "that Crossfit thing" is my more than that. Its family. A big, strong, awesome family :)

Here are just a few of those awesome people.... :)